The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident. People all over the world wear the same fashions, watch the same t.v. channels, use the same brands and have similar eating habits. Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
It is
undeniable
fact that the adoption of different Correct article usage
an undeniable
cultural
is Replace the word
cultures
common
thing in today's world.Add an article
a common
the common
Although
coping the different cultural offering
Replace the word
cultures offers
the
more advantages Correct article usage
apply
but
we cannot ignore the drawbacks Correct word choice
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
it
. Here ,Correct pronoun usage
apply
i
would discuss the pros of Change the capitalization
I
this
trend outweigh the cons.
On the one hand
there are several reasons why people Add a comma
hand,
inclined
more to different environments.Add a missing verb
are inclined
Firstly
, adoption
of different Correct article usage
the adoption
culture
, Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
language
and Fix the agreement mistake
languages
dress up
offers a variety of opportunities to make a good future.Correct your spelling
dress-ups
For example
, In india
there Change the capitalization
India
is
more people going to foreign countries for Change the verb form
are
their
better future, Change the word
a
for
that they Correct word choice
and for
needs
to live Change the verb form
need
accordingly
Change preposition
in there
there
environment.Replace the word
their
Thus
, it will impact on
their lifestyle.Change preposition
apply
Secondly
, due to
advancement
of technology, today's generation likes to scroll on social media sites , Correct article usage
the advancement
one
portraying on social media Correct pronoun usage
apply
they
are trying to adopt that lifestyle unless Correct word choice
that they
its
related Correct your spelling
it is
eatables
, Change preposition
to eatables
clothing
Correct word choice
or clothing
extra
. Nowadays people Correct word choice
apply
becomes
materialistic they are more relying on branded items , Wrong verb form
have become
fast
foods Correct word choice
and fast
instead
of buying traditional clothes and eating own
meals.
Correct pronoun usage
their own
In contrast
, with
the innovation of foreign cultures, Change preposition
apply
it
will not only impact Correct pronoun usage
apply
on
the young Change preposition
apply
generation
lifestyles Change noun form
generation's
butalso
Correct your spelling
but also
leaving
Verb problem
have
the
bad effects on their health as well .Correct article usage
apply
Because regular
eating of unhealthy food will directly Correct word choice
Regular
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
on
their health system which lead to Change preposition
apply
leave
Verb problem
apply
the
negative effect on their career as well Correct article usage
a
due to
less energy.
In conclusion, despite having the benefits of relying on different cultures, we cannot ignore the drawbacks of it.Submitted by harjass308 on
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task achievement
Be sure to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This helps in making your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on your transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Clear connections between your main points can enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary use. Minor errors can distract the reader and reduce the clarity of your points.
task achievement
You have expressed a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the trend, which is a good approach for this type of essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay reflects a coherent structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in maintaining a logical flow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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