Nowadays, sports is a big business with high earnings for professional sports people and companies involved both financially and other ways. Is this a positive or negative development for sports? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
It is
undeniably
that Change the word
undeniable
sports
provide many benefits
in both
ways its
not only advantages to Correct pronoun usage
apply
players
but also
to the company who is sponsoring the games. In my opinion, its
a positive development because it offers Replace the word
it's
it is
number
of opportunities to sponsors and Change the article
a number
the number
players
. Such
as recognition to both
players
and companies on national and international levels .
Correct your spelling
Secondly
secondly
, offers health , education and other facilities to players
.
There are many reasons why sports
are playing
a vital role Wrong verb form
play
for
improving the financial and Change preposition
in
social- economic
growth of Correct your spelling
social-economic
country
and companies. Fix the agreement mistake
countries
Firstly
, when someone is sponsoring game
it will not only Correct article usage
a game
improves
Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
financial
but Replace the word
finances
also
give a remarkable identification as well . For example
, Mukesh ambani
is always promoting the games on Change the capitalization
Ambani
local
Correct article usage
the local
level
firstly
,gradually
he started sponsoring games on Correct word choice
but gradually
national
Add an article
a national
the national
level
, now
he selected Correct word choice
and now
in
Correct your spelling
an
olympics
committee member . Correct your spelling
Olympic
Olympics
As a result
, with this
they can hold the position on Add a comma
this,
international
Add an article
an international
the international
level
and increase the
capital as well.
Change the word
their
In addition
, a
professional Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
players
are not only getting the
free education but Correct article usage
apply
also
enjoying the
free healthcare . Government provides the better facilities for them to become player . Because of Correct article usage
apply
sports
, they can attain sportsmanship, teamwork .so
that they can Correct your spelling
so
defeat
on Verb problem
compete
international
Add an article
an international
the international
level
and represent their country and helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
to
boost the economy of Verb problem
apply
country
.
On the other side , despite having more Add an article
the country
a country
benefits
but every coin have
two sides ,if someone Correct subject-verb agreement
has
loss
the game even Replace the word
loses
untireless
Change preposition
with untireless
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
on
that time Change preposition
at
then
player can lose their
interest in Correct pronoun usage
apply
game
and it will impact Add an article
the game
on
their mental health.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
sports
have various benefits
for both
sides . With this
they can earn money and hold the
position Correct article usage
a
on
Change preposition
at
higher
Add an article
a higher
level
and for player
it provides countless Fix the agreement mistake
players
benefits
such
as educational, healthcare and travelling abroad and specific recognisaton
on Correct your spelling
recognition
both
national and international levels.Submitted by harjass308 on
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task achievement
To enhance your task response, ensure that your ideas are fully developed and supported with clearer, more specific examples. Consider expanding on your points to provide a more comprehensive view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, try to logically connect your ideas within and between paragraphs. Use more cohesive devices and transitions to guide the reader through your argument smoothly.
general
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation to improve readability. Minor grammatical errors can distract the reader. For instance, instead of 'its not only,' use 'it is not only.'
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. This helps the reader to follow your arguments easily.
task achievement
You offer a balanced view by acknowledging the potential drawbacks of sports becoming a big business, which enhances the depth of your discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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