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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#bar #divorce #rates #two #european #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The illustrated bar chart depicts the
divorce
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 comparison in between two European
counrties
Correct your spelling
countries
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 2011 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, both countries show opposite trends where
Sweden
Use synonyms
 shows a downward trend,
Finland
Correct word choice
and Finland
show examples
 shows an upward trend over the years. It is observed
Sweden
Use synonyms
 managed to reduce its
divorce
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 by over 10% ,
while
Linking Words
 Finland's
divorce
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 rose by almost 10%.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Finland
Change noun form
Finland's
show examples
divorce
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started at well below 40% in 2011 which took a dive
further
Linking Words
 down in the next year reaching
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
just over 30%.
However
Linking Words
, in the later
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 a consistent rise
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 observed reaching marginally above 40% in 2014 and
remained
Wrong verb form
remaining
show examples
 stable in 2015.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Sweden
Change noun form
Sweden's
show examples
divorce
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 was stated well over 40% in 2011 which rose to a record high near 50% in the following year,
although
Linking Words
Sweden
Use synonyms
 managed to reduce the
divorce
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 steadily in the later years reaching down
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
below 40% in 2015.
Submitted by nick on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words divorce, rate, sweden with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduce" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • divorce rates
  • fluctuate
  • increase
  • decrease
  • peak
  • trough
  • trend
  • notable
  • significant
  • substantial
  • higher
  • lower
  • comparison
  • consistent
  • vary
  • percent
  • overall
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