Q. Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#q #television #free-time #people

Over the

last

few years,

variourum

Correct your spelling

various

variorum

people utilising their available

tame

Correct your spelling

time

show examples

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which

their

Add a missing verb

has their

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

become sedentary lifestyle

also

they become estranged.

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

spending leisure

time

to watch

Change the verb form

watching

show examples

some beneficial programs

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

wholesome. I strongly agree that it causes detrimental impacts on our

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

and well-being.

This

essay will discuss my views with supporting

proofs

Fix the agreement mistake

proof

show examples

. On the one hand, television

one

Add a missing verb

is one

show examples

of the best ways to spend leisure

time

In other words

, it is affordable that everyone can acquire it to watch divergent

sort

Fix the agreement mistake

sorts

show examples

program

Fix the agreement mistake

programs

show examples

without wasting their money on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

other leisure

actvities

Correct your spelling

activities

such

as shopping.

In addition

, there are many educational programs on TV by

witch

Correct your spelling

which

show examples

our knowledge would be escalated,

also

we can expand our

horizon

Fix the agreement mistake

horizons

show examples

by watching

news

Add an article

the news

show examples

, international films and

chanels

Correct your spelling

channels

from other countries.

For instance

, news

keep

Change the verb form

keeps

show examples

us up to

dated

Change the form of the verb

date

show examples

with news from all continents.

On the other hand

, a lot of people are taking advantage of

this

inventation

Correct your spelling

invention

invitation

by wasting their

time

media without being involved

Change preposition

show examples

society and

world

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

For example

, most of the

chldren

Correct your spelling

children

after school spend their valuable

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching cartoons without showing

interes

Correct your spelling

interest

Change preposition

show examples

education.

In addition

, on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television plenty of

aggresive

Correct your spelling

aggressive

films that

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

children disobedient.

As a

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

children can become

phsycho

Correct your spelling

psycho

and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

would not

Verb problem

cannot

show examples

control

himself

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

To conclude

although

I believe that TV has brought many beneficial values to our lives, the negative impacts outweigh the benefits. People should understand the importance of

time

and should learn to manage effectively which would benefit them

as well as

society

Submitted by modermodee7 on Fri Aug 09 2024

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grammar

Revise spelling and grammar: There are several spelling and grammatical errors. For example, 'variourum' should be 'various', 'tame' should be 'time', 'witch' should be 'which', and 'phsycho' should be 'psychotic'.

examples

Use more specific and detailed examples: Your essay could be stronger with more specific and relevant examples that illustrate your points. For instance, mention specific educational programs or channels that benefit viewers.

coherence

Enhance topic sentences: Improve the clarity of your topic sentences to ensure they clearly indicate the main idea of each paragraph.

clarity

Clear stance: The essay clearly states a strong agreement with the idea that television can have detrimental effects, providing a solid foundation for the argument.

balance

Balanced view: The essay acknowledges the potential benefits of television, showing an attempt to provide a balanced perspective.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Q. Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many students find it difficult to focus or pay attention at schools nowadays. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society? Give reasons for your answer. Agree or Disagree

Some people believe that increasing tax on various industries will reduce pollution whereas others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

your friend is thinking about learning to drive and would like some advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, say why a driving license is advantageous. Recommend a driving school. Give any extra tips.