Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #free-time #people

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Over the

last

few years, variorum people utilising their available

time

to watch TV

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

has their lives

become

Fix the infinitive

to become

show examples

sedentary

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

also

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

become estranged.

However

, spending leisure

time

watching some beneficial programs

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

wholesome. I strongly agree that it causes detrimental impacts on our minds and well-being.

This

essay will discuss my views with supporting proof. On the one hand, television is one of the best ways to spend leisure

time

In other words

, it is affordable that everyone can acquire

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

to watch divergent sorts of programs without wasting their money on other leisure activities

such

as shopping.

In addition

, there are many educational programs on TV by which our knowledge would be escalated,

also

we can expand our horizons by watching the news, international films and channels from other countries.

For instance

, news keeps us up to date with news from all continents.

On the other hand

, a lot of people are taking advantage of

this

invention by wasting their

time

media without being involved in society and the world.

For example

, most of the children after school spend their valuable

time

watching cartoons without showing interest in education.

In addition

, on television plenty of aggressive films that make children disobedient.

As a result

, children can become psycho and cannot control themselves.

To conclude

although

I believe that TV has brought many beneficial values to our lives, the negative impacts outweigh the benefits. People should understand the importance of

time

and should learn to manage effectively which would benefit them

as well as

society

Submitted by modermodee7 on Fri Aug 09 2024

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task achievement

Ensure to develop ideas thoroughly with more specific examples and data. This enhances the depth of your essay and makes your argument more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Use transitional phrases and linking words more effectively to create a smoother flow between your points. This not only makes your argument clearer but also enhances the coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph centers around a single main idea, and avoid drifting into multiple points in one paragraph. This will make your essay clearer and more organized.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly states your viewpoint and sets the tone for the essay, making it easy for the reader to follow.

complete response

You effectively highlighted both the positive and negative aspects of watching television, showing a balanced perspective.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent technological developments. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience.

Governments investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement.