IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people work for the same organization all their working life.Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both therse views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 think working in the same organisation
allover
Correct your spelling
all over
show examples
 their career makes much
sense
Correct quantifier usage
more sense
show examples
 rather than switching to another organization.
Moreover
Linking Words
, moving to other workplaces can help improve their learning of new technologies and skills.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can move to different organizations as per their will.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who stay in the same work by their own choice can able to be promoted to a higher position in a short period of time. Because a career in the same place improves employees achieve promotions and will be popular among colleagues.
For instance
Linking Words
, if stayed for 5-10 years of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
 he/she will be capable of handling most of the major tasks
happen
Wrong verb form
happening
show examples
 on the desk. Second of all, other
people
Use synonyms
 moving various work in a short period of time can gain a higher pay
while
Linking Words
 switching but doesn't have good communication between officemates. Repeating
this
Linking Words
 may
cause
Verb problem
have
show examples
 an impact on background when enrolling for higher positions.
For example
Linking Words
, To some
people
Use synonyms
 alteration of work in repeated ways may impact on growth. In my opinion, switching companies may not impact most of the
people
Use synonyms
 having the required skills and talents but only a few don't keep up with the new skills and technologies and will fail in their careers.

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure to have a clear and concise introduction that presents the topic and outlines the main points you will discuss. This helps guide the reader and sets the stage for the essay.
supported main points
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by specific examples or evidence. This can help in making the argument more compelling and easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
Conclude your essay by summarizing the main points and giving a clear opinion. This reaffirms your position and rounds off the essay neatly.
complete response
The essay addresses the topic and presents both views as well as your own opinion, which is essential for Task Response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay contains valid points about the benefits and drawbacks of working for the same organization versus switching.
relevant specific examples
You used relevant examples to support your points, which is a good practice for illustrating your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • organization
  • stability
  • security
  • predictable
  • long-term growth
  • loyalty
  • belonging
  • varied workplace environments
  • adaptability
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • personal preference
  • personality type
  • career goals
  • industry norms
  • personal circumstances
  • one-size-fits-all
  • benefits
  • drawbacks
  • professional aspirations
What to do next:
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