You have just started a course in college which has no sports facilities of it's own.Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club.In your letter •introduce yourself •say why you are interested in this sports club •ask some question about the club e.g. facilities, members,costs

#course #college #sports #facilities #manager #club #•introduce #•say #•ask #e #g #members #costs

Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to apply for the assistant manager in your private

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

club

.I started coming to

this

college on Friday 20th March for a

course

and I needed a private sports

club

.Because of the

collage

Correct your spelling

college

show examples

where I started the

course

has

Verb problem

does

show examples

not

Add a missing verb

have a

show examples

private

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

club

.I hope you will look into

this

letter. I really liked your private sports

club

, because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

it is very nice and has all the facilities.The friendly people here got my attention.That's why I really liked your private sports

club

. I would like you to answer some of my questions.Do you have enough equipment and what is the cost

Correct your spelling

a one-month

course

.What are the

course

times

Change the punctuation

show examples

I look forward

hearing

Change preposition

to hearing

show examples

from you soon. Yours faithfully Xudoyberdiyeva Sevinch

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Fri Aug 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

You should mention clearly that you are a new student and looking for sports facilities because the college lacks them. This will help in achieving a complete response.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and professionalism. For example, the phrase "Because of the collage where I started the course has not a private sport club" can be improved to "because my college does not have sports facilities."

coherence cohesion

Consider breaking down some longer sentences into shorter ones. For example, instead of "I started coming to this college on Friday 20th March for a course and I needed a private sports club," you could say, "I recently started a course at this college on March 20th. As the college lacks sports facilities, I am interested in joining your club."

greeting and closing

You included a proper greeting and closing, which adds to the formal tone of the letter.

task achievement

You expressed clear interest in the sports club and the reasons why it appeals to you, which is great for task achievement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

128 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
Appearance and money are regarded as a crucial part of success, while there are some oppostion concern that determination and hardwork are way more better. This writer is choosing the sides of hardwork and passion and give some evidence to this.
5
band
As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays it is easy to read the news in many different ways than in the past. We can get lots of informations from the internet that in the past would only be on the newspaper. Some people believe that in the future there will not be newspapers. I agree with this statement.
7
band
Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. Ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Travels in the sky are considered an effective innovation through technology.Therefore, it is happening in every continent that folk can use air transportation to make their trip.However,it makes a statement that it could be beneficial for wealthy families it is not relevant for middle-class societies.In this essay , my contention will be further elaborated.
6
band
Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The question of who bears the responsibility for instilling good values in children, shaping them into respectable individuals in society, is a contentious issue. Some argue that this responsibility lies squarely with parents, while others contend that educational institutions should play a pivotal role in this regard. In the following paragraphs, I will examine both perspectives and present my viewpoint.
5
band
In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work fro home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?
As time passed, the way of working has changed among people. Since technology has improved, numerous new developments have come across. Furthermore, instead of going to work offices every day, many people tend to work from home and do their tasks online. This method has come forward with various pros and cons.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. Ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work fro home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?