You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter say why he/she would not enjoy going to college explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her

#friend #advice #college #job #idea

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Dear friend Alyssa How are you?it's been a

while

that

Correct word choice

since

show examples

we haven't met face-to-face.I hope you are doing well.I have been thinking

whether

Change preposition

about whether

show examples

you get into a job or get into a college. First of all, college might not be a good idea all the time as it requires a lot of learning but

also

they are less focused on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

practical learning but you are the person that can easily learn from doing.

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

the schedules of the college might be not suitable for you.

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

working might be

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

idea ever.First of

all

Add a comma

all,

show examples

it allows you to gain practical experience and

also

you could develop skills.

Furthermore

,working gives you the chance to meet more people and you could get rid of social anxiety.

Secondly

Add a comma

Secondly,

show examples

you could easily guide your future decisions by working.

Secondly

Add a comma

Secondly,

show examples

there might be bad sides

Change preposition

show examples

working.You might end up not getting your salary by the time you should

get

Correct pronoun usage

get it

show examples

Moreover

Add a comma

Moreover,

show examples

if you're absent for

the

Correct article usage

show examples

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of days,your boss might end up cutting off your salary.But I don't think it's a big deal if you are going to take

working

Change the form of the verb

work

show examples

seriously

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

your decision should rely on your interests and thoughts. Best wishes.Your beautiful friend Ravshanova Mushtariy

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Fri Aug 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to include a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion. This will make your letter easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph contains one main idea, and use clear transitions between ideas to enhance readability.

task achievement

Be sure to fully support your points with specific examples or further explanation to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

The tone of the letter is friendly and appropriate for writing to a friend, which enhances the personal touch.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing are polite and fitting for a personal letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

201 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Real-world experience
Practical experience
Financial independence
On-the-job training
Student loan debt
Personal growth
Professional networking
Career development
Skilled workers
Job market
Career goals
Immediate income
Professional relationships
Market demand
Defining interests
Educational investments

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