IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #space #exploration #waste #governments #benefit #nation
Many countries are spending a lot of money on
space
explorations
Fix the agreement mistake
exploration
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. There are people who think that it is a waste of money to spend on
space
 experiments and there are no benefits to the nation. I strongly disagree with
this
 opinion. In
this
 essay, I will write about the advantages of investing in
space
 science. To achieve success in the field of
space
, a country will have to invest a lot of money and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 systematically over a long period of time . They need to develop an entire ecosystem
such
 as
skillful
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skilful
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 labour, relevant manufacturing companies,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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a robust supply chain, etc.
This
 gives a huge employment opportunity for the citizens and thereby, it positively contributes to the economy of the country.
This
 even includes creating an advanced education system.
Also
, we must note that
space
 is a highly competitive field. There are several technologies that have been originally invented for
implementing
Replace the word
implementation
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 in the
space
 stations and to be used by the astronauts. Later, the same inventions have been used by common people.
For example
, Google Maps is one of the byproducts that came
as a result
 of investing in the
space
 industry. After spending a vast amount of time, scientists created special suits for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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space
 explorers that are heat and
fire resistant
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fire-resistant
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.
However
, the same dress is currently used by the
fire fighters
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firefighters
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.
Therefore
, we need to understand these indirect benefits of
space
 exploration.
To conclude
, all governments must continue their ongoing efforts in
this
 field.
However
, they should identify a balance that
satisfy
Change the verb form
satisfies
show examples
 other needs of the society in an effective manner.
Submitted by msrinivas7866 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay needs a more detailed logical structure for seamless flow between ideas. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.
task achievement
Some sections can benefit from more specific and diverse examples to strengthen the points being made.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-defined, presenting a solid framework for the essay.
task achievement
Main points are supported with relevant and concrete examples, making your arguments stronger.
task achievement
The essay directly addresses the question, providing a comprehensive response to the prompt.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
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