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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #workforce #six #industries #australia #summarise #features #comparisons
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The table illustrates a
comparsion
Correct your spelling
comparison
 of the proportion of work force in different industries in Australia during 1989 and 2008. The data are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, all
industries
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industry's
industries'
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 rates experienced a downward trend except manufacturing and
helth
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health
 care, they both
shows
Wrong verb form
showed
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 an upward trend.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the most significant change can be
obseved
Correct your spelling
observed
 on manufacturing. In 1989, working
on
Change preposition
in
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 manufacturing was the most popular
between
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among
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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 at exactly
qourter
Correct your spelling
quarter
. Retail was on the second rank, at 11.8%, making it slightly more than
helth
Correct your spelling
health
 care by approximately 2%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, tourism and education were relatively low ,they both less than 7%.
Constraction
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Construction
 was 7.6%
On the other hand
Linking Words
, retail and health care were
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 top
on
Change preposition
of
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 the list at 10.1% and 11.3% respectively in 2009. Meanwhile,
manufacturing
Correct article usage
the manufacturing
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 rate decreased by around 6% to 9.8%,
however
Linking Words
,
constraction
Correct your spelling
construction
 rose to 8.3% . Tourism and education roughly had the same they, both around 7 part of handerad.
Submitted by ananan2780 on

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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