Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In modern society,
women
rights have been an issue that sparks considerable debate amongst Change noun form
women's
people
. A majority of people
believe that women
should play an equal role
as men in police
or military force sectors. I firmly agree with this
view
and in
Change preposition
apply
this
essay will provide reasons and examples to support my views.
First of all, there are a multitude of reasons support
the idea Fix the infinitive
to support
of
Change preposition
that
women
should play an equal role
as men specifically in police
and military sectors. The main cause of this
view
is the
Correct your spelling
that
women
think she has a
capability to do Change the article
the
this
kind
of job and she
should Correct pronoun usage
they
has
the opportunity to work in Wrong verb form
have
thies
sectors Correct your spelling
these
for example
, in some countries women
played
a valuable Wrong verb form
play
role
in police
and military force and Correct article usage
the police
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
a lots
of achievement Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
furthermore
, they believe that the women
did a very good job in several kind
of work and she will Change to a plural noun
kinds
doing
well in Change the form of the verb
do
police
and military force.
As well as
these, there are a litany of people
believe
that Correct pronoun usage
who believe
women
are not suitable for these
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
kind
of jobs, the main cause of there
Correct your spelling
their
believe
is Replace the word
belief
this
kind
of work demand
working overtime and Fix the agreement mistake
demands
traveling
to do Change the spelling
travelling
trainings
, and Change the wording
training
pieces of training
this
will be hard for the women
if she had children, they think women
should focus in taking care to her children.
To sum up
, it is evident there are a large number of people
believe
in the Correct pronoun usage
who believe
view
women
should play an equal role
as a
men. I firmly agree with Correct article usage
apply
this
view
as was evident in the evidence and examples.Submitted by ziyadalkhudier on
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task achievement
Work on providing more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Try to elaborate on your ideas more clearly. This will help in making your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to check for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas to ensure a smoother progression of arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps frame the discussion nicely.
task achievement
The main viewpoints are identified and discussed, showing a good attempt at balancing both sides of the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.