IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and polution probloms. To what extend do you agree or disagree? What other measures might be effictive ?

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In modern society,
petrol
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prices
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 have been an issue that sparks considerable debate amongst
people
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. A majority of
people
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 believe the
increasing
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increase
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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petrol
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prices
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 might solve the traffic and pollution problems. In
this
Linking Words
 essay will write about
this
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 issue and provide
reasons
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 to
support
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this
Linking Words
 opinion. First of all, there
are
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is
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multitude
Add an article
a multitude
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 of
reasons
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 that make
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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support
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 increasing
in
Change preposition
apply
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the
petrol
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prices
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 to
trying
Wrong verb form
try
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 to reduce using the cars
for example
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, when the government made a decision to increase the
petrol
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prices
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 directly a number of
people
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 will start
use
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using
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 the public transportations trying to save some money
furthermore
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, most of
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people
Add an article
the people
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 will start looking for another kind of cars
such
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 as
electronic
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an electronic
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 car which will help to have less pollution from the cars.
As well as
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this
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 there are a litany of other factors that make
people
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 agree
in
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to
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 increasing the
prices
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 of
the
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apply
show examples
petrol
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such
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 as the healthy
people
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whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 always
support
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 walking in the street or using
the
Correct article usage
a
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 cycle
in
Change preposition
on
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 a daily
bases
Fix the agreement mistake
basis
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for example
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people
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 will prefer going to work using cycle or walking to avoid the high
prices
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 in
petrol
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 which will affected back on their health
moreover
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, every family or friends will do their best to go together in the same car to the trips, dinner, or work and it will help to solve the traffic and population issues.
As a result
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 of
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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reasons
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 and examples it is can clearly
see
Wrong verb form
seen
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 that a majority of
people
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 agree with the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
petrol
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prices
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. In conclusion, it is evident that there are many
reasons
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Use synonyms
support
Fix the infinitive
to support
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 the view of increasing the
petrol
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prices
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 and I totally agree with
this
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 view and I believe it is the best way to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traffic and pollution and will
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support
Verb problem
encourage
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people
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 to use the healthy style by walking and drive a cycle.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of ideas. Try to make more concise and clear argument points.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure the points are well-connected and transitions between them are smooth.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the issue and presents the writer’s opinion.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples are provided to support the writer’s opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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