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Band 4.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and polution probloms. To what extend do you agree or disagree? What other measures might be effictive ?

#price #petrol #traffic #polution #probloms #measures #effictive
In modern society,
petrol
prices
 have been an issue that sparks considerable debate amongst
people
. A majority of
people
 believe the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
petrol
prices
 might solve the traffic and pollution problems. In
this
 essay will write about
this
 issue and provide
reasons
 to
support
this
 opinion. First of all, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
multitude
Add an article
a multitude
show examples
 of
reasons
 that make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
support
 increasing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
petrol
prices
 to
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 to reduce using the cars
for example
, when the government made a decision to increase the
petrol
prices
 directly a number of
people
 will start
use
Change the form of the verb
using
show examples
 the public transportations trying to save some money
furthermore
, most of
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 will start looking for another kind of cars
such
 as
electronic
Add an article
an electronic
show examples
 car which will help to have less pollution from the cars.
As well as
this
 there are a litany of other factors that make
people
 agree
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 increasing the
prices
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
petrol
such
 as the healthy
people
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 always
support
 walking in the street or using
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 cycle
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a daily
bases
Fix the agreement mistake
basis
show examples
for example
people
 will prefer going to work using cycle or walking to avoid the high
prices
 in
petrol
 which will affected back on their health
moreover
, every family or friends will do their best to go together in the same car to the trips, dinner, or work and it will help to solve the traffic and population issues.
As a result
 of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
reasons
 and examples it is can clearly
see
Wrong verb form
seen
show examples
 that a majority of
people
 agree with the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
petrol
prices
. In conclusion, it is evident that there are many
reasons
support
Fix the infinitive
to support
show examples
 the view of increasing the
petrol
prices
 and I totally agree with
this
 view and I believe it is the best way to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic and pollution and will
support
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
people
 to use the healthy style by walking and drive a cycle.
Submitted by ziyadalkhudier on

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of ideas. Try to make more concise and clear argument points.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure the points are well-connected and transitions between them are smooth.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the issue and presents the writer’s opinion.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples are provided to support the writer’s opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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