IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager.In your letter •describe the training course you want to do •explain what the company could do to help you. •say how the course will be useful for your job.

#work #company #advertisement #course #job #manager #•describe #•explain #•say
Dear Mrs Lucy I hope you are reading my letter. I have seen an advertisement for a training
course
 which will be useful for my job. But I want to give advice to you. I want to
course
 I open to be very notable for
people
.
In addition
, I want
this
course
 to be very comfortable,
useful
Correct word choice
and useful
show examples
, and help
people
 in everyone with learning cooking
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast food. I think that
course
 is like a
people
 .Because everybody wants fast food.
Therefore
, I wanted you to help me with
training
Correct article usage
the training
show examples
 cook
course
. I hope
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 helps me. I am asking you to provide facilities for
further
Correct article usage
the further
show examples
 development of my profession and for
people
 to learn to cook. I think your
compaign
Correct your spelling
campaign
 can help me .Owing to the company does not suffer financially.
My
Change preposition
In my
show examples
 personal opinion my idea will be useful to
people
 Because it is very easy to find my job.
Firstly
,
this
course
 should open from the city centre. Hopefully
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
 will increase the number of customers.
This
 will benefit not only me but
also
 our company. I request you to consider my application .I hope you like
this
 project too. Sincerely Fatima
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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complete response
Make sure to clearly describe the training course and its specific benefits to ensure full understanding.
logical structure
Try to organize the letter in a logical structure with clear paragraphs dedicated to describing the course, explaining the company's role, and stating the course's usefulness.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph can focus on a single idea to enhance clarity. For instance, one paragraph can solely address what the company can do to assist you.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are appropriately used and bring a polite tone to the letter.
suitable writing tone
The overall tone of the letter is suitable for professional communication and maintains respectfulness.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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