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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of total US population aged 65 and over between 1900 and 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows the percentage of total US population aged 65 and over between 1900 and 2000. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#percentage #population #summaries #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart represents the proportion of Americans aged more than 65-years-old from 1900 and 2000 In 1900, there was 4%
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eldery
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elderly
 from the total population. They were categorized into three groups and each had a different percentage contributing to the 4%. People between the
age
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ages
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 of 65 to 74 had a
rate
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 of 2.9, 75 to 84 had a
rate
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 of 1, and 85+
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eldery
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elderly
 had a
rate
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 of 0.2. These
nunber
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number
numbers
 gradually
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
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 every year
untill
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until
 1990. In 2000, there were a
sligt
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slight
slightly
 decreased in the proportion of
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eldery
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elderly
 aged between 65 to 74.
This
Linking Words
 indicated that there was a decrease in the total number of
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eldery
Correct your spelling
elderly
 by 1%. People aged 65 to 74 had a
rate
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 of 6.5, which was lower by 0.8 compared to a decade before.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
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Eldery
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elderly
 aged between 75 to 84, had a rise of 0.4% and people older than 85
also
Linking Words
 had an increase
by
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of
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 0.3%.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the total number of elderly in the US
had
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has
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 been gradually increasing for a century.
However
Linking Words
, there was
change
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a change
the change
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 in proportion in 2000
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words eldery, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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