IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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In many people's belief, there is an inclined preference that securing a good job can
be accomplish
Change the verb form
be accomplished
show examples
 by completing a
degree
Use synonyms
 from
educational
Add an article
the educational
an educational
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 institution.
However
Linking Words
, others think that the only way to guarantee it is by starting to
work
Use synonyms
 after school.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I agree that getting a college
degree
Use synonyms
 will likely increase
chances
Correct article usage
the chances
show examples
 of getting a desired job. By completing
college
Add an article
a college
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
 in the first place, individuals can be more guaranteed to get a
well
Change the adverb
good
show examples
work
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, huge industries majorly are
fulfilled
Verb problem
filled
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 with
bachelors
Change noun form
bachelor's
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 and
masters
Change noun form
master's
show examples
Use synonyms
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
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. They often provide several benefits and
developements
Correct your spelling
developments
 that may cultivate their employees. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
,
academic
Correct article usage
an academic
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degree
Use synonyms
 comes with a big tuition over time and a long runway to achieve it, making those who have less amount of money and time
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
hardly
to
Correct word choice
able to
show examples
 get it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, high schoolers who directly
work
Use synonyms
 after
graduate
Replace the word
graduation
show examples
 will reduce
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 waste of time
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 gain a broader experience.
For instance
Linking Words
, they may have many opportunities to combine both their practical and academic skills as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh start
Add a hyphen
fresh-start
show examples
 high school graduates. Nowadays, companies
also
Linking Words
 look for individuals who are ready to dive deep into the world of
work
Use synonyms
,
making
Verb problem
giving
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
bigger
Correct article usage
a bigger
show examples
 chance to
reassure
Verb problem
secure
show examples
 jobs. Yet, whether it is beneficial for some people, there are some who are likely unpleasant with their current
work
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 it can be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a good start for them. Taking everything into consideration, I believe that completing university materials and getting a
degree
Use synonyms
 will likely
enchance
Correct your spelling
enhance
 the chance to get a good job.

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task achievement
Expand more on your main arguments, providing more detailed reasoning or examples to strengthen your task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas for a more cohesive essay. Use connecting phrases and logical progression.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify some points further to enhance the depth of the response, especially in contrasting the two views.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which is a strong aspect of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views of the prompt, showing an understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion restates the opinion effectively, reinforcing your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • specialized expertise
  • on-the-job training
  • work experience
  • financial independence
  • career growth
  • hands-on experience
  • balanced perspective
  • internships
  • part-time work
  • academic learning
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeships
  • personal circumstances
  • financial constraints
  • career goals
  • individual aptitudes
  • well-paying careers
  • satisfying careers
  • specialized training
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