Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Nowadays,
career
life is one of the most crucial matters which needs solid consideration, especially regarding its supporting factors
such
as education. These factors have caused friction among people
due to
their different beliefs, some say that we need a proper education
such
as a
university
education and others say that gaining experience can be done
while
working.
Nevertheless
, I would say completing a
university
course helps us to guarantee a good job for some reasons which are set out below.
Firstly
, based on my experience, the
university
taught students a very important lesson regarding the subject which should be the main focus. When we studied at
university
, they helped us to learn our subject of interest thoroughly because of their well-structured teaching methods.
Furthermore
, we can learn everything from the basic knowledge to become expertise in it.
This
kind of experience is only found in college life;
therefore
, the
university
is one of the supporting foundations to start a good
career
. Obviously, in the current situation, big companies need a good reputation regarding their employees.
As a result
, they usually develop a connection with well-named universities. Eventually, they opened a huge
career
opportunity for the students, making them join some internship programs easily or even become one of their staff.
This
opportunity helps them to learn a lot about how to grow their
career
life or even how to have good communication skills with their colleagues. In conclusion, universities have helped students
to begin
their
career
world because they can learn anything thoroughly and there are some partnerships between universities and companies which can help them to learn and gain experiences.
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task achievement
To improve your Task Response score, try discussing both views directly and equally. This will show a balanced argument before presenting your own opinion.
task achievement
In future essays, include more specific and varied examples to strengthen your argument and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Try to make your main points clearer and more distinct. This will help in demonstrating a logical progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on better connecting your body paragraphs with clear topic sentences and linking words or phrases.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid framework for your argument.
task achievement
You effectively communicated your main idea and supported it with logical arguments.
task achievement
The language used is appropriate and demonstrates a good command of English.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • specialized expertise
  • on-the-job training
  • work experience
  • financial independence
  • career growth
  • hands-on experience
  • balanced perspective
  • internships
  • part-time work
  • academic learning
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeships
  • personal circumstances
  • financial constraints
  • career goals
  • individual aptitudes
  • well-paying careers
  • satisfying careers
  • specialized training
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