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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. Average distance in miles travelled per person per year, by mode of travel

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. Average distance in miles travelled per person per year, by mode of travel
#information #changes #modes #travel #england #distance #miles #person #year #mode
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The given chart
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrates
show examples
 information about transportation methods which were chosen by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans  for travelling
between
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the given 15 years in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
England.     At a glance, the fraction of
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 was a higher proposition except,
other
Change preposition
for other
show examples
 transport services  like
Add an article
a train
the train
show examples
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
, walking, bicycle, local
bus
,
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
bus
,
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
 and others, as these figures accounted for
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
.   
To begin
 with, In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1985 year,
car
Add an article
the car
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 was  the most preferred transport among other services, which was 3199
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 and
also
 it
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
continuously
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
whereas
, In the year 2000, peaked at 4806.
As well as
, other types of
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 chosen  by people, at the beginning of term, they showed
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
450 and
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 again
585
Change preposition
to 585
show examples
.    Contrary to that, Local
bus
also
 used
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by individuals. It faced
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
429,
however
,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the final year,
their
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
 figure a decline at 274. Walking, bicycle,
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
,
taxi
Correct word choice
and taxi
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
  following  them and their proposition fluctuated  during the times
Submitted by shakhzod0905 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words bus with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • modes of travel
  • average distance
  • per person per year
  • increase/decrease
  • significant change/trend
  • vehicle usage
  • public transportation
  • technological advancements
  • societal changes
  • economic growth
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