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Band 6

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #changes #place #queen #mary #construction #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The diagrams given demonstrate the changes at Queen Mary Hospital from 1960 to 2000 .
To begin
 , in 1960 under the main
road
Add a comma
road,
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 there was a shopping
centre
 in the northwest .
Secondly
 , Queen
mary
Capitalize word
Mary
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 had a wonderful farmland in the
southleft
Correct your spelling
southwest
south left
 in 1960 .
Furthermore
, beside the farmland was the car park of the hospital .
In addition
 , in 1960 the hospital was in the northeast .
Also
 , in 1980 they
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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opend
Correct your spelling
opened
cancer
Correct article usage
a cancer
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centre
in
Change preposition
on
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 the left side of the hospital .
Moreover
 , they had built a new pharmacy inside the hospital in 1980 .
Additionally
 , below the
cancer
centre
 was the nursing school .
Finally
 , the car park was in the southeast of the hospital map .
Besides
 , in 2000 the hospital had
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 meters
of
Change preposition
as
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 the
cancer
centre
 approximately .
Although
Correct word choice
However
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, both
Add an article
the
a
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car park and nursing school were below the hospital and opposite the
cancer
centre
.
To conclude
 , Queen Mary Hospital
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
 of the best hospitals
around
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world and it
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 really improved from 1960 to 2000 .
Submitted by alkmariam345 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words centre, cancer with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • initial facilities
  • replacement
  • significant extension
  • absorbed
  • developments
  • introduction
  • adjacent
  • evolution
  • enhancing healthcare services
  • commercial spaces
  • medical facilities
  • expansion
  • modern healthcare needs
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