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Band 2

What was the major decision the you have faced in your life?

#decision #life
When I had completed my higher studies.There was a time when I was
confusing
Correct word choice
confused about
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 which field to pursue.
This
 was the major
decison
Correct your spelling
decision
decisions
 of my life. I
disscussed
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discussed
this
 concern with my professors and some of
industry
Add an article
the industry
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 owners.
Firstly
, All of them suggested
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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different fields but one of
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the close
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close
Correct word choice
closest
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professor
Fix the agreement mistake
professors
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,
He
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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told me that I was very good at mathematics so,
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so pursing
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pursing
Correct your spelling
pursuing
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 computer science
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 be
very
Add an article
a very
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 good fit for me.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 he told me that
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
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 era is
an
Correct article usage
a
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 Computer science and
Artifical
Correct your spelling
Artificial
 Intelligence era. I consider computer
sciene
Correct your spelling
science
, and now I am a Software Engineer and working for a remote job.So
this
 major
decison
Correct your spelling
decision
 has changed my life and
gave
Wrong verb form
given
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my
Change the pronoun
me
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 the path
of
Change preposition
to
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 success. In conclusion, I must say that the decision is the thing which changes your destiny.
Submitted by shahroz99dev on

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task achievement
You should elaborate a bit more on specific examples related to the decision-making process and outcomes.
coherence cohesion
Try to refine your logical structure, ensuring each paragraph clearly supports the main theme.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the main idea.
clarity
You provided some relevant points and your main idea is clear and comprehensive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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