Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement
Some people support investing
of
the government in arts Change preposition
apply
such
as playing music and Linking Words
theater
. Change the spelling
theatre
Linking Words
While some
argue and prefer spending Correct word choice
Some
of
Change preposition
apply
these money
Change the determiner
this money
in
public services Change preposition
on
instead
. I will express my view of aspects and Linking Words
discuss
.
On the one hand, the investment of government in various sorts of arts has a huge Correct pronoun usage
discuss them
advantageous
. Replace the word
advantage
Furthermore
, inserting could develop many talents Linking Words
individual
especially when they are inserting it in school. Change the word
individually
However
, it is considered as entertainment for residents. Linking Words
For instance
, the government in Saudi Arabia invested in Linking Words
Add an article
the theater
a theater
theater
recently, which was a great experience for children and families.
Change the spelling
theatre
On the other hand
, Linking Words
Linking Words
while
some people consider public services as Correct word choice
apply
government’s
priorities. Expenditure Correct article usage
the government’s
in
education and public transportation Change preposition
on
beside
providing a house for nations is better. Establishing and constructing Change preposition
besides
of
these Change preposition
apply
basic
can assist in Fix the agreement mistake
basics
growth
of countries and Add an article
the growth
provides
a Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
health
environment for Replace the word
healthy
family
. Fix the agreement mistake
families
For example
, many Linking Words
of
governments Change preposition
apply
refused
the Wrong verb form
refuse
investment
in health and Replace the word
invest
providing
Wrong verb form
provide
an
insurance for people to receive treatment because they consider it costly Remove the article
apply
while
it is their responsibility.
In conclusion, I Linking Words
am
completely Verb problem
apply
agreeing
with Wrong verb form
agree
balance
between spending Add an article
the balance
a balance
of
money. Allocate enough budgets for basic Change preposition
apply
requirement
for inhabitants and kids and emphasize of availability of these facilities. Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
Along with
improving their talent and Linking Words
supporting
.Replace the word
support
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task achievement
The essay should express a clearer and more focused position on the topic. Ensure that the viewpoint is straightforward and supported throughout the essay.
task achievement
Use more varied and precise vocabulary to improve clarity. This will help make arguments more compelling and easier to understand.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas by using appropriate linking words and phrases. This will make your writing more cohesive and reader-friendly.
coherence cohesion
Break down long sentences into shorter ones to enhance readability. Separate different ideas into distinct sentences or paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay attempts to cover both aspects of the investment in arts and public services, showing an understanding of the topic's complexity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, indicating an effort to structure the essay logically.
task achievement
Includes relevant examples, such as the investment in theater in Saudi Arabia, to illustrate points made.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.