People attend college or university for many defferent reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university?
On a large scale , in many countries , going to university is a usual and compulsory step before getting a
job
.
At first
sight , perhaps it seems like it is only some lessons to study like school yet I think university
can be your Add an article
the university
first
and most important phase to choose
your career life way . there are two ways Wrong verb form
choosing
for becoming
Change preposition
to become
an
specialist and learn skills at least to start Change the article
a
an
specific Change the article
a
job
. get an educational degree or gain skills by experience . here we are talking about first
way .
you pick your study field in the college related to Correct article usage
the first
job
Add an article
the job
they
want and Correct pronoun usage
you
this
can provide a clear view and better
opportunity to get hired . So I think the Correct article usage
a better
first
and main reason of
attending higher education is to get a better Change preposition
for
job
and understand it's
fundamentals .
Correct your spelling
its
In addition
to what has been said , I think the academic atmosphere can affect people's personality .
We may have seen professors and college teachers which
are really classy characters and they can teach you or shape your Correct pronoun usage
who
maners
unconsciously .
Correct your spelling
managers
Besides
that , universities are very good place
to make new friends , Just when you are grown up and know yourself better , Fix the agreement mistake
places
That is
the best time to get familiar with people Change preposition
with who
who
you can get along well .
Change the pronoun
whom
Overall
, I think Having higher education and attending college has more advantages than disadvantages for sure and it can play a huge role in our life .Submitted by pouria.sharifzad on
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Grammar
There are a few grammatical errors and typos throughout the essay. For instance, 'defferent' should be 'different', and 'an specialist' should be 'a specialist'. Try to proofread your essay to catch such errors.
Example development
Although the essay addresses the prompt's requirements, it could benefit from more specific examples to support the arguments. For example, using statistics or personal anecdotes can make your points more compelling.
Structure
The essay would be more effective with a clearer structure. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and transitions smoothly to the next one. This will improve the logical flow and coherence of your essay.
Content coverage
The essay covers a range of reasons why people attend college or university, touching on career preparation, personal growth, and social benefits.
Insight
Your point about the academic atmosphere influencing personality is thoughtful and adds depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.