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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph beow shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph beow shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#beow #tourists #caribbean #island #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart below displays the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
visitors
 who travelled
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a particular Caribbean
island
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2010 to 2017.
It is clear that
 the total number of
tourists
 visiting the Caribbean
island
 rose rapidly and stably, especially the part of
tourists
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
show examples
 on
cruise
ships
. What’s more, the number of
tourists
 staying on
cruise
ships
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 the largest change in
7-years
Correct your spelling
7-year
 periods. From the graph, it’s evident that the
amount
 of
tourists
 staying on
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
account
Wrong verb form
accounted
show examples
 for the largest proportion in 2010,which is three times the
amount
 of
tourists
 staying on
cruise
ships
, at about 0.75
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and 0.25
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 respectively.
Therefore
, there are nearly 1
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
visitors
 in
totally
Change the word
total
show examples
.
Then
 in 2017, the total number of
visitors
 increased remarkably, at approximately 3.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. In
particularly
Change the word
particular
show examples
, the
amount
 of
visitors
 staying on
cruise
ships
 increased dramatically, reaching
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, more than the
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
staying
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 on
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
, which at only 1.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, visitors, island, tourists, cruise, ships, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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