In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

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While
agriculture has been improved, it is true that in
21th
Correct word choice
the 21st
show examples
century some
people
still suffer from poverty. In my opinion, there are
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of possible
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
for
this
, but steps can definitely be taken to tackle the problem.
People
face a range of
difficulities
Correct your spelling
difficulties
in their
life
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lives
show examples
including
hungry
Replace the word
hunger
show examples
and there are several
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
for
this
.
Firstly
, food
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
too expensive so some
indivuduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
cannot afford
this
even
their
Correct word choice
though their
show examples
country is rich
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
agriculture. Especially in some poor countries, local
people
cannot able to eat their harvest because of imports.
Secondly
, governments are
taken
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
taxes
from imports
Change preposition
on imported
show examples
goods
and that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
more expensive.
Finally
, I believe that
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
reason is capitalism and it is not important
neither
Verb problem
to know
show examples
how many
harvest
Change to a plural noun
harvests
show examples
can be done
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
rich soil for agriculture.
Upper
Correct article usage
The upper
show examples
classes reach every kind of
vegetables
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vegetable
show examples
and some domestic
people
even don't know some exotic
vegetables
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vegetable
show examples
tastes.
For instance
, in Africa, some
people
do not know chocolate taste. It seems to me that we can improve public awareness about poor countries and global charity
instutions
Correct your spelling
institutions
can help
this
Change the determiner
this person
these people
show examples
people
.
However
, it might have contributed
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
percentage
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
solution
Add an article
a solution
the solution
show examples
.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
can support
farmers
and can give
farmers
some funds. In my country,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
has decreased loan interest for
farmers
and
farmers
have applied for "
farmers
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
show examples
"
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the bank. It has provided some
goods
price
decline.
Also
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
some
restriction
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restrictions
show examples
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
export
goods
. Past
experince shohws
Correct your spelling
experience shows
us
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our
show examples
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
way to make
lower
Add an article
the lower
show examples
price
is country-made
goods
. In conclusion,
people
will continue to face poverty and
hungry
Replace the word
hunger
show examples
because of capitalism but it can
be prevent
Change the verb form
be prevented
show examples
if governments set clear rules and charity
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
help domestic
people
.
Submitted by bkardelenyilmazz on

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language
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clarity
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evidence
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conclusion
Revise concluding statements to ensure they succinctly summarize the essay's main arguments while addressing the prompt directly. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.
structure
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
completeness
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coherence
There is a logical flow in most parts of the essay, contributing to overall coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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