IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Prevention is better than Cure. Researching and treating disease is too coslty So it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what Extent you are agree with this statement

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This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is a bar chart of the number of men and women in
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 education. In Britain in three periods. In 1970. Most
ef
Correct your spelling
of

The word ef doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 Men were studying part. time but from 1980, studying part-time was
decrensed
Correct your spelling
decreased

If you don’t want decrensed to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and studying full-time
was
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb was appears to be unnecessary here.

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increased and in 1990, it was twice as many students as in 1970.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, women studying Full-Time were
increused
Correct your spelling
increased

If you don’t want increused to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and not only Fill -time part-time
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
were
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb were appears to be unnecessary here.

show examples
increased.

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introduction conclusion present
It's essential to start your essay with a clear introduction that outlines what the bar chart illustrates. This helps set the context for the reader.
introduction conclusion present
Try to provide a brief summary or conclusion at the end of your essay to encapsulate the main points discussed.
supported main points
Ensure that each point you make is supported with specific data from the bar chart. For instance, mention the actual figures or percentages when discussing trends.
logical structure
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Use linking words such as 'however', 'furthermore', and 'in contrast' to differentiate between points and paragraphs more effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
Pay attention to grammar and spelling. Simple mistakes like 'increused' for 'increased' and 'Fill -time' for 'full-time' can detract from the overall readability of your essay.
logical structure
Consider grouping similar points together to avoid repetition and ensure a more structured approach. Discuss men's education trends in one paragraph and women's in another.
supported main points
You've identified key trends in the bar chart, such as the increase in full-time study for men and women over the periods mentioned.
complete response
Your essay does capture the essential data presented in the chart, which is crucial for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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