Some people think that dancing is an important subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. What are positive and negative sides of art at school? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience or knowledge. Write about 180-220 words.

#people #children #school #waste #time #art #give

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There is no doubt, that

Correct article usage

the studyng

show examples

studyng

Correct your spelling

studying

process is crucial for children,

however

Add the comma(s)

however,

show examples

people discuss,

Correct word choice

whether do

show examples

existing

Replace the word

existence

show examples

art

classes

has

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

or negative effect. In

this

essay

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essay,

show examples

I will explore both opinions and will give examples from my personal experience.

To begin

with, as

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show examples

advantage of

art

classes

schools

, the way of inviting

talants

Correct your spelling

talents

will be considered. It is hard to deny, that the

earlyer

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earlier

show examples

talanted

Correct your spelling

talented

individual

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

recognized, the better the

talant

Correct your spelling

talent

could be developed.

For instance

, many

famos

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famous

actors

such

as Bred Pit or singers

such

Brithey

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Britney

Spirs were

identifyed

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identified

Change preposition

at in

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

early

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

, so it gives them more opportunities for practice. Another example is my childhood,

where

Correct word choice

when

show examples

my parents found out

Change preposition

about may

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may

Correct your spelling

show examples

exellent

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excellent

math

performance and enrolled me in

math

school. Alternatively, if educational institutions do not have

art

classes

talants

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talents

could be lost and society could never achieve

greate

Correct your spelling

great

paintists

Correct your spelling

painters

of actors.

On the other hand

, the overloading of the school program is a disadvantage of additional subjects that could

develope

Correct your spelling

develop

cultural skills.

This

is because,

nawadays

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nowadays

educational institutions have extremely hard programs, which comprise

math

, logic, languages, critical thinking and other

classes

; and, decreasing

number

Correct article usage

the number

show examples

of hours on

math

may significantly

deteriorates

Change the verb form

deteriorate

show examples

compehandtion

Correct article usage

the compehandtion

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of the subject. To illustrate

this

art

schools

have significantly less number of algebra

classes

, so students of

such

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

usually show

Correct article usage

a worst

show examples

worst

Correct word choice

worse

show examples

knowledge of

math

comparatively

Replace the word

compared

show examples

to other

schools

. In conclusion, It is

complicated

Add an article

a complicated

show examples

question,

rather

Correct your spelling

whether

show examples

it is

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

trend to have

art

classes

schools

or not. Supporters argue that it helps find

talants

Correct your spelling

talents

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

opponents

highlite

Correct your spelling

highlight

the fact, that hours on

such

classes

take time from more important ones.

Submitted by sergeybelov83 on Sun Aug 11 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents both positive and negative sides of art classes, which is good. However, some ideas need to be explained more thoroughly for better clarity. Expanding on your points with more detailed examples will strengthen your response.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. There are a few grammatical errors and incorrect word choices that can disrupt the flow of the essay. Proofreading your work can help minimize such issues.

coherence cohesion

Consider separating your essay into more paragraphs. Each new idea or point should have its own paragraph. This not only makes the essay easier to follow but also improves overall coherence.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the essay's intentions, which provides a good framework for the reader.

task achievement

You have included examples to support your points, which adds credibility to your arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

extracurricular
kinesthetic learning
aesthetic appreciation
cognitive development
resource allocation
holistic development
academic rigor
creative outlets
physical endurance
budget constraints
curriculum integration
motor skills
self-discipline
peer interaction
cultural awareness

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