Some people think computers and the Internet are more important in child’s education. Others believe that schools and teachers are essential for children to learn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, more and more people are facing
with
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apply
show examples
the dilemma of whether
giving
Change the verb form
to give
show examples
their
children
an
education
that
connected
Add a missing verb
is connected
show examples
with modern technology or
sending
Wrong verb form
send
show examples
them to school. On the one hand, the computer and the Internet can effectively make
children
more willing to study. By using online learning platforms,
students
can engage in real-time interaction and discussions with
teachers
and other
students
.
This
immediate communication and interaction can increase the sense of participation and socialization in learning, stimulating
students
' interest and motivation.
Additionally
,
teachers
can provide timely feedback and guidance to
students
during online learning, helping them to better understand and master knowledge.
This
positive feedback can
also
inspire
students
' learning motivation.
And
Correct word choice
This
show examples
this
also
enables
children
to receive some basic knowledge
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a very small age.
That is
to say, kids might learn something new when they are playing interactive games and simulations. All of these elements collectively enhance their intellectual growth and knowledge acquisition
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional
education
can ensure
students
’ learning quality.
Firstly
,
teachers
have the expertise and skills to guide
children
in their learning. To be specific,
teachers
are trained professionally and know how to break down complex concepts into small pieces for
students
to understand. They can
also
adapt their teaching methods based on each student’s individual needs and learning style.
Additionally
, receiving offline
education
ensures that
students
can get a comprehensive
education
including different subjects and an environment for face-to-face communication.
As a result
, the
students’
Correct your spelling
student’s
show examples
academic ability will be improved. In my opinion, learning on the Internet enables
students
to learn wider,
while
the
teachers
and schools can provide
students
with
a
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apply
show examples
systematic teaching. In short, a student can achieve the best
education
by integrating computer-based learning with traditional classroom instruction.
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task achievement
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'facing with' which should be 'facing.'
task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced discussion by giving equal weight to both views. Currently, the essay leans slightly more towards the advantages of online learning.
task achievement
Aim to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention particular online platforms or educational tools if you can.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions to enhance logical structure. For example, use transition words like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' or 'However,' to connect your sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every main point is supported with sufficient evidence or reasoning. Some arguments in the essay could be elaborated further for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Refine the conclusion to make it more impactful. Summarize the main points briefly and restate your opinion in a stronger manner.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic, which is essential for task achievement.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the benefits and challenges of both online and traditional education.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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