Some people think computers and the Internet are more important in child’s education. Others believe that schools and teachers are essential for children to learn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, more and more people are facing
with
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apply
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the dilemma of whether
giving
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to give
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their
children
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an
education
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that
connected
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is connected
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with modern technology or
sending
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send
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them to school. On the one hand, the computer and the Internet can effectively make
children
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more willing to study. By using online learning platforms,
students
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can engage in real-time interaction and discussions with
teachers
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and other
students
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.
This
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immediate communication and interaction can increase the sense of participation and socialization in learning, stimulating
students
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' interest and motivation.
Additionally
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,
teachers
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can provide timely feedback and guidance to
students
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during online learning, helping them to better understand and master knowledge.
This
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positive feedback can
also
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inspire
students
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' learning motivation.
And
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This
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this
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also
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enables
children
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to receive some basic knowledge
in
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at
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a very small age.
That is
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to say, kids might learn something new when they are playing interactive games and simulations. All of these elements collectively enhance their intellectual growth and knowledge acquisition
On the other hand
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,
the
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apply
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traditional
education
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can ensure
students
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’ learning quality.
Firstly
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,
teachers
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have the expertise and skills to guide
children
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in their learning. To be specific,
teachers
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are trained professionally and know how to break down complex concepts into small pieces for
students
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to understand. They can
also
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adapt their teaching methods based on each student’s individual needs and learning style.
Additionally
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, receiving offline
education
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ensures that
students
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can get a comprehensive
education
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including different subjects and an environment for face-to-face communication.
As a result
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, the
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students’
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student’s
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academic ability will be improved. In my opinion, learning on the Internet enables
students
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to learn wider,
while
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the
teachers
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and schools can provide
students
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with
a
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apply
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systematic teaching. In short, a student can achieve the best
education
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by integrating computer-based learning with traditional classroom instruction.

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task achievement
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'facing with' which should be 'facing.'
task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced discussion by giving equal weight to both views. Currently, the essay leans slightly more towards the advantages of online learning.
task achievement
Aim to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention particular online platforms or educational tools if you can.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions to enhance logical structure. For example, use transition words like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' or 'However,' to connect your sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every main point is supported with sufficient evidence or reasoning. Some arguments in the essay could be elaborated further for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Refine the conclusion to make it more impactful. Summarize the main points briefly and restate your opinion in a stronger manner.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic, which is essential for task achievement.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the benefits and challenges of both online and traditional education.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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