In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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There are many tactics employed by commercial enterprises in the twenty-first century's
competetive
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competitive
global market. Many
refuge
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refer
show examples
to targeted advertisements suggesting their devices
posses
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possess
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a more advanced feature that was not available before.
This
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technique can be aiming to improve their
selling
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sales
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performance and in my
opinion
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opinion,
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comprises an immense drawback for the citizens. On the one hand, businesses are keen to insist that their products have newly introduced characteristics in order to increase their sales target and appeal to higher numbers of customers.
For example
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,
everytime
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every time
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Apple releases new versions of
iphones
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iPhones
phones
, brands them not only as containing updated gadgets but
also
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few
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a few
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modern features.
Furthermore
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,
this
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commercial strategy results in a vast range of enthusiasm among people leading to tremendous marketing and
sale
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sales
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success for the company.
On the other hand
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,
this
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constitutes a negative business trend owing to several malicious ramifications in terms of
pecuniary
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the pecuniary
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well-being of the customers. Considering
this
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marketing policy, more and more consumers tend to spend their hard-earned financial resources and
acumulated
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accumulated
accumulate
savings on upgraded versions of consumer goods,
for instance
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.
Moreover
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,
this
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is a
tremenously
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tremendously
hazardous phenomenon as it can bring about citizens taking loans with high interest rates, using up their credit cards to the ceiling or even risk going bankrupt or delinquent if they act heedlessly or fail to pay back
on-time
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on time
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. In conclusion, enterprises consider all sorts of advertising strategies
such
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as labelling their product as having new features to seduce people into purchasing them. I wholeheartedly regard it as an enormous negative development
due to
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the devastating financial
reprecussions
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repercussions
for the ordinary people that are attached to
this
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sales policy.
Submitted by sajjad.talebi2020 on

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grammar vocabulary
There are notable minor spelling and grammatical issues such as 'competetive', 'refuge', 'devices posses', 'pecuniary well-being', 'acumulated savings', 'tremenously hazardous', and 'reprecussions'. Paying attention to these minor errors can enhance the overall fluency and coherence of your writing.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured, ensure your transition phrases are varied. For instance, you could use synonyms or different structures to avoid repetition of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Although your arguments are sound and well-explained, make sure each one is directly linked to the topic. Try to avoid long-winded explanations and get straight to the point more quickly to maintain the reader's attention.
coherence cohesion
You've clearly structured the essay with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
Your arguments are strong and supported by relevant examples, like the reference to Apple's product marketing strategies.
task achievement
You’ve effectively explained the possible negative implications of advertising strategies focused on the 'newness' of products, showing clear and comprehensive ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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