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Band 3

Studies have shown that unemployment has a bad effect on both the physical and mental health of people without a job. For this reason, governments need to create jobs for everyone who wants one. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#studies #unemployment #effect #health #people #job #reason #governments #jobs
Speficying
Correct your spelling
Specifying
 some details about my experience, regarding my
research
 experience, the ‘BioGenEtica
Research
 Group’ was focused on Stem Cells, Genetics & Genomics, and Bioethics,
while
 the ‘Microbiology & Parasitology
Research
 Group’ based its
research
 projects on diseases caused by helminths and protozoa which have affected children in Colombia. These projects have been presented at not only national but
also
 international symposiums and conferences and published in indexed journals.
Furthermore
, my clinical experience, during my
last
 academic year, known as ‘The Internship’, my clinical rotations were deeper in knowledge about Internal Medicine, Pediatrics, Surgery, and Gynecology & Obstetrics.
Subsequently
, after my graduation, since my clinical performance was focused on Internal Medicine and critical care, I completed specific continuing education training about COVID-19 management and The Fundamental Critical Care Support certified by The Society of Critical Care Medicine.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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task achievement
Make sure to directly address the prompt by explaining the connection between unemployment and health, as well as discussing whether governments should create jobs.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a main point that supports your argument. This will improve the coherence and logical structure.
supporting points
Provide specific examples or evidence that clearly supports your points about the effects of unemployment and the role of government.
content knowledge
Your essay contains relevant information and demonstrates your knowledge on the topic.
language use
Your writing style is clear and shows a good command of English.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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