Today people are using the things and throwing or replacing it with latest models or latest fashion. Do the advantages of throwing away society outweigh the disadvantages?
Throwing and replacing things
to
the newest style become Change preposition
with
habit
for many Add an article
a habit
people
nowadays. In my view, the demerits outweigh the benefits since dangerous for the environmental
.
On the one hand, the primary advantage is consumerism Replace the word
environment
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
affect
economic growth. There are various reasons for higher consumerism, Change the verb form
affects
however
, the most common reason is lifestyle
in Add an article
a lifestyle
the
society which Correct article usage
apply
force
Correct subject-verb agreement
forces
people
doing
everything to get something. Change the verb form
to do
People
frequently change their things to the newest fashion, which will rise
the demand Correct your spelling
raise
of
the good things. Change preposition
for
Moreover
, it leads a job opportunity
since the Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
necessary
of factory workers. Replace the word
necessity
For example
, Correct article usage
the Iphone
Iphone
, one of the Correct your spelling
iPhone
famous
Correct quantifier usage
most famous
phone
in the world, always improve the quality from Fix the agreement mistake
phones
fitur
Correct your spelling
fit
until
physical appearance. It always Change preposition
to
launch
Change the verb form
launches
new
product every year, Add an article
a new
subsequently
, people
tend to follow the trend to change
Change preposition
of changing
the
Change the word
their
phone
to prove their social status.
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
On the other hand
, this
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
also
lead
Change the verb form
leads
Fix the infinitive
to disadvantage
disadvantage
for the earth Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
Correct article usage
the environment
environment
field. As the consequences of Replace the word
environmental
over production
, it will Correct your spelling
overproduction
be significantly increase
the waste. Change the verb form
significantly increase
Moreover
, it contributes to pollution and climate change. The research by compas
, one of the Change the capitalization
Compas
bigger
Correct word choice
biggest
newspaper
in Indonesia, said that Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
people
usually littering
in Wrong verb form
litter
Add an article
the river
a river
river
which will Fix the agreement mistake
rivers
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
lead
Wrong verb form
leads
many
Change preposition
to many
disaster
Change to a plural noun
disasters
happens
. Verb problem
apply
For example
, a woman who have
a bad Change the verb form
has
habbit
that always Correct your spelling
habit
over consumption
about bags. Even thoughCorrect your spelling
overconsumption
,
she already has a good bag, Remove the comma
apply
however
, she always buy
the newest bag every week. Change the verb form
buys
Furthermore
, she will throw it away when she feels bored about
the bag.
In conclusion, the Change preposition
with
disadvantage
outweigh the Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
advantage
since damaging the environment. Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
Moreover
, it will bring many type
of disaster.Change to a plural noun
types
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and the viewpoint is clear. However, you should further develop your ideas and provide more comprehensive examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Some parts of your essay lack coherence and do not connect ideas smoothly. Use linking phrases and transitions to better connect your points.
language
Pay attention to grammar and word choice. Some sentences are hard to understand due to grammatical errors. Revising your essay for grammatical correctness will help in delivering your ideas clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your position well.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as mentioning the iPhone and consumer behavior towards fashion items, are relevant and help illustrate your points.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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