Some people say free time activities for children should be organized. Others say that children should be free time to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion
In
modren
society,there is an argument about the Correct your spelling
modern
lesiure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
for childern
. Some people say free Correct your spelling
children
time
activities for childern
should be organized by Correct your spelling
children
parents
, others condider
that children ought to choose what is better for them.Correct your spelling
consider
This
essay will analyes
Correct your spelling
analyse
analyze
this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
In
one hand,many Change preposition
On
parents
have an idea how should their childerns
spend their Correct your spelling
children
time
. Parents
are responsiple
in front of society Correct your spelling
responsible
about
their Change preposition
for
childern
.Correct your spelling
children
Firstly
,they must choose for
Change preposition
apply
them
activities that help them Correct pronoun usage
apply
for
education, there are many platforms that have educational games.Change preposition
with
Scoundly
, Correct your spelling
Secondly
parents
,
should improve their Remove the comma
apply
childerns
Correct your spelling
children
skill
in their Fix the agreement mistake
skills
lesiure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
. For example
,research in China shows that parents
who assissted
their family members Correct your spelling
assisted
to
developing Change preposition
in
duting
their free Correct your spelling
during
time
increased in last
years.
Some peo ple
claim that it is better for Correct your spelling
people
childern
to choose what they want to do in their free Correct your spelling
children
time
. However
, many parents
have no idea how their childern
spend Correct your spelling
children
theis
Correct your spelling
their
time
. For example
,when childern
choose how they spend Correct your spelling
children
time
,they will choose to spend it watching television and using mobile phone
, television and Fix the agreement mistake
phones
Add an article
the internet
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
became
the main Wrong verb form
become
influance
on Correct your spelling
influences
childerns
Correct your spelling
children
children's
behaviors
. Change the spelling
behaviours
In addition
,it is not their responsipility
to choose.Correct your spelling
responsibility
Althought
many Correct your spelling
Although
childern
Correct your spelling
children
free
to choose, Add a missing verb
are free
parents
should control their choice.
In conclusion, there are easy answer
to Fix the agreement mistake
answers
this
question. On balance, however
, i
tend Change the capitalization
I
Add the particle
to belive
belive
that it is Correct your spelling
believe
an
essential for Change the article
apply
parents
to select any kind of methods
for Fix the agreement mistake
method
theis
Correct your spelling
their children
childerns
to spend their time
.Submitted by noodi-9 on
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grammar
Ensure to carefully proofread your essay to correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors. For example, correct misspellings such as 'modren' (modern), 'childerns' (children), 'assissated' (assisted), 'influnced' (influenced), and so on.
structure
Strengthen the coherence within and between paragraphs by using clear topic sentences and transitional phrases. This will help in directing the reader smoothly through your points and arguments.
clarity
Use more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments and make them more convincing. For instance, elaborate on the types of activities parents may organize or detail potential benefits and drawbacks.
task achievement
The essay contains both sides of the discussion and provides a balanced viewpoint while concluding with the writer’s own opinion.
coherence cohesion
The presence of an introduction and conclusion helps in framing the essay well and provides a clear structure.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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