Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but others believe it's not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many people believe that it is the government’s responsibility to take
care
of its citizens
’ welfare, including providing free health care
and education
, while
others contend that it is not necessary. In my opinion, a balanced approach would help tackle this
issue more effectively.
On the one hand, proponents of the first point of view have several reasons to justify their position. Firstly
, they point out that citizens
pay so many kinds of tax on a yearly basis that they should have the right to benefit from the public funds without paying additional cost
. Fix the agreement mistake
costs
Secondly
, citizens
are the major factor which decides one country’s prosperity. A country that takes good care
of its people, will have the possibility to develop comprehensively. For example
, if citizens
could access to
free schooling regardless of their socioeconomic status, the intellectual level of the population would improve and Change preposition
apply
consequently
help work on unemployment problems. As a result
, this
would not only enhance countries’ prosperity but also
social harmony.
On the other hand
, individuals who support the alternative stance also
have points to prove their opinion. They assume that public finances has
Change the verb form
have
limitation
and should be spent efficiently. Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
Thus
, there are many urgent issues requiring the authorities ‘ attention such
as urban infrastructures and national security. Hence
, this
will put a dent in public coffers if national leaders could not
decide what should be their top concern.
From my perspective, Wrong verb form
cannot
although
it is the government who
is responsible for Correct pronoun usage
that
people’
lives, they should pay Change noun form
people’s
full
cost for only Correct article usage
the full
education
and support the public in healthcare
services with other measures. I personally think that well qualified
Add a hyphen
well-qualified
education
is such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
a
main key for a country to thrive, so it is an essentially worthy investment by providing free schooling to all Correct article usage
the
citizens
. However
, speaking of healthcare
, paying full cost for all relatable services is not really a suitable method which can be disadvantageous in several ways. In explanation, receiving too much welfare may lead to the
lack of awareness in the population of taking Correct article usage
a
care
of themselves. Instead
of providing free healthcare
, governments should wisely allocate the budget respectively for each category’s importance then
bring in new policies for Correct word choice
and then
healthcare
services such
as providing them with insurance that is
suitable for each kind of socioeconomic status. Therefore
, the public funds could be used more effectively and thoroughly.
In conclusion, although
both points of view are reasonable, I think citizens
should give a helping hand in healthcare
payment
to lift some weight off the government’s shoulders and have the Fix the agreement mistake
payments
fund
invested in Fix the agreement mistake
funds
education
and other needs of society.Submitted by weezel on
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specific examples
To further improve, add more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more compelling and concrete.
clear ideas
Although your ideas are clear and comprehensive, try to elaborate on them a bit more to offer a more detailed perspective.
structure
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion.
balanced viewpoint
You presented a balanced discussion, effectively weighing both sides of the argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.