IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

People who were born in rural areas often move to big cities when they become adults. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative trend?

#people #areas #move #cities #adults #trend
Men who lived all their lives in rural
areas
 oftentimes emigrate to the megacities when they grow up. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the arguments that support the main advantages and disadvantages of the whole. There are many problems linked with living in the countryside.
While
 big cities do not suffer from isolation, the rustic places tolerate the lack and shortage of educational opportunities, medical facilities, and
also
 lack of recreational and cultural amenities.
Additionally
, life in rural
areas
 is slow-paced and uneventful.
Also
, there is one negative aspect of living in the country
areas
 are low level of income.
On the other hand
, there is a value side of existence in the peasant. In my mind, there are many reasons why folks choose rural places over large cities. The russet gives us the possibility to enjoy views of
areas
, get peace far from urban stress, and get away from the hustle and bustle of city life. Life in the countryside provides many outdoor leisure activities,
such
 as swimming, fishing, and hiking.
Moreover
, the low cost of living in the rustic place is one of the positive points of being in the country.
For instance
, the survey reports that a heap of individuals are more kind and goodwill than in a metropolis.
Overall
, dwellers who spend a big part of their lives in the peasant frequently expat to the major cities when they are full-grown. In my opinion, there are lots of plus facets of being in the rural
areas
.
Submitted by halilova039 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples to support your arguments. For instance, instead of saying 'there are many reasons why folks choose rural places,' specify what those reasons are with tangible examples. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Focus on enhancing your essay's logical structure by making sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use transition words or phrases to guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced view, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of living in rural areas and cities. This showcases your ability to consider multiple perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the discussion well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: