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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Your report should comprise a minimum of 150 words.

The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Your report should comprise a minimum of 150 words.
The bar chart illustrates how British
children
Use synonyms
 aged 11 to 16 years went to
school
Use synonyms
 based on different categories of distances (0-1, 1-2, 2-5, and over 5
miles
Use synonyms
) in a year. Units are expressed by percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the graph that walking and bicycling were used when the
distance
Use synonyms
 was between 0-2
miles
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Bus
Correct article usage
the Bus
show examples
 was a popular way to go to
school
Use synonyms
 when the
distance
Use synonyms
 was over 5
miles
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, no
children
Use synonyms
 went to
school
Use synonyms
 on foot or cycling when the
distance
Use synonyms
 was more than 5
miles
Use synonyms
. Walking was chosen by most of the students (90%) to journey to
school
Use synonyms
 when the
distance
Use synonyms
 was 0-1 mile.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a small number of students (less than 10%) took a
bus
Use synonyms
 or car to reach their destination for 0-1
miles
Use synonyms
 of
distance
Use synonyms
. In terms of 1-2
miles
Use synonyms
 of
distance
Use synonyms
,
children
Use synonyms
 liked cycling (more than 75%) as compared with walking (60%). Regarding, 2-5
miles
Use synonyms
 of
distance
Use synonyms
, half of the students preferred to
bus
Use synonyms
 which was very close to bicycling (around 49%).
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when it was more than 5
miles
Use synonyms
, almost 70% of
children
Use synonyms
 reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 by
bus
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 car was used by slightly above 20%. Interestingly, no
children
Use synonyms
 chose bicycle and walking when it was more than 5 km away from
school
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words children, school, miles, distance, bus with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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