Should healthcare be funded totally by the government for everyone? Some people think that studying history is a waste of time while others think it is essential to learn history. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is generally accepted that it is for the government to shoulder the burden of individuals' healthcare expenses. I tend to hold the mentioned approach strongly as it is a basic human right and
impose
equality. Some claim that studying Correct subject-verb agreement
imposes
history
is waste
of time, Correct article usage
a waste
while
many others, myself included, belive
it is helpful in diverse aspects Correct your spelling
believe
such
as policy.
As regards the first question, some reasons can be put forth one of which is considering the
health as an essential human right. It means that residents in various communities desire to have access to Correct article usage
apply
a
sustainable healthcare in order to maintain good physical and mental health Remove the article
apply
to
have more productivity at work and contentment. Fix the infinitive
apply
Besides
, providing society members with affordable or even no-charge medical services is highly likely to implement equality in that regard. Therefore
, poor residents and those who are in dire demand for these services can take advantage of them easily. For instance
, some patients who need chemotherapy or surgery should be supported by the government.
Regarding the second question, opponents of history
posit that nowadays, it would be more practical for both individuals and the community if one allocate his time to science and technology, due to
their tremendouse
impact on human welfare. To illustrate, education in Correct your spelling
tremendous
the
computer science which is a Remove the article
apply
cutting edge
tech has more practicality for people, Add a hyphen
cutting-edge
thus
they contend that students should replace it with history based
areas of study. Add a hyphen
history-based
However
, I refute them as negelecting
the Correct your spelling
neglecting
history
of a nation can lead to some vexations such
poor
international policy.
Change preposition
as poor
On the other hand
, many others, including me, believe that history
has a profound influence on territories' national and international policies. For instance
, by indulging in researches
about the background of Fix the agreement mistake
research
the
their countries, authorities can find out about their ancestors Remove the article
apply
a
well as their relations with other countries and use their experiences in that regard for more efficient governing. World wars can be taken as an example by studying about them most Correct your spelling
as
of
Change preposition
apply
the
countries can get informed about their friends and enemies.
In conclusion, an affordable and Correct article usage
apply
sustainble
healthcare system can lead to a more Correct your spelling
sustainable
prosperious
and healthy society. Correct your spelling
prosperous
Besides
, the more the education ministry care
about Change the verb form
cares
history
studies, the more benefit it can gain from it in political fields.Submitted by samirakasraee72 on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction merges two distinct essay prompts (government-funded healthcare and studying history), which makes the essay initially unclear. Ensure each essay focuses on a single topic only.
task achievement
Improve the clarity and depth of your arguments by providing more specific examples and detailed explanations. This will strengthen the main points and make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
Pay attention to the grammatical structure and avoid minor errors, such as subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles ('a' and 'the'). Revising these areas will enhance the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed both views and provided your own opinion, which is an essential part of a balanced discussion essay.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and follows a clear progression from introduction to conclusion.
task achievement
You've included relevant examples to support your points, such as mentioning chemotherapy and the world wars.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.