The line graph illustrates population share 65 aged and older during the period from 1940 to 2040 in three countries: USA, Sweden and Japan.

#line #population #period #three #countries #usa #sweden #japan

It is important to

notice

Verb problem

note

show examples

that

population

Correct article usage

the population

show examples

share in every country will eventually increase in 2040. USA and Sweden

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

steadily

rise

Change the verb form

risen

show examples

for the whole period.

Meanwhile

Add a comma

Meanwhile,

show examples

Japan

was declining from 1940 to 1980, but in due course it

rocket

Wrong verb form

rocketed

show examples

. Since

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

1940 the percentage of

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

in Sweden

was

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

about 7% and it moderately

grow

Change the verb form

grows

show examples

This

indicator achieved around 14% in 1980. After 1980 it slightly dropped, but a little later the growth resumed. Ultimately, in 2040

Sweden

Change noun form

Sweden's

show examples

proportion of

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

will reach 25%.

Likewise

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

started with approximately 9% and has

Remove the article

apply

show examples

stable growth. At long

last

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

proportion of

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

will achieve around 23%. Meanwhile,

Japan

started with

lowest

Change the article

the lowest

show examples

position. It was 5% in 1940 and had

slight

Add an article

a slight

show examples

drop. From 1960 to 1990

Japan

held a position at approximately 4%.

However

, it has modestly

grow

Change the verb form

grown

show examples

from 1990 to our time.

And based

Correct word choice

Based

show examples

this

, it can be concluded that it will sharply increase In the period from 2030 to 2040. Eventually,

Japan

's proportion of

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

will

achieve

Verb problem

reach

show examples

around 26% in 2040

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, japan with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

174 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The line graph illustrates population share 65 aged and older during the period from 1940 to 2040 in three countries: USA, Sweden and Japan.

Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with the police or the military. Others think that women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extend do you agree or disagree?