Example 6: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #punishment #measures

Many offenders commit more

crimes

after serving the punishment. Reasons for

this

phenomenon can occur when offenders are not accepted

Change preposition

show examples

others and are unable to start a brand new life. In the following essay, I will explain why the situation has become worse and what precautions can be taken to solve the problem. First and foremost, the punishments are too light and have no deterrent effect in stopping offenders from engaging in

crimes

For instance

, teenagers who committed to stealing, are sentenced to community service.

This

makes an illusion that

this

is a consequence which they can afford,

then

, break the laws once again.

Moreover

, some cannot find a job or a place to stay after serving the punishment. With no assistance, they have no choice but to commit

crimes

, which are the ways they are most familiar with, to earn a living.

For example

, people who steal or

robbed

Wrong verb form

rob

show examples

, have a higher chance of taking the primrose path.

Therefore

, the government need to implement programs in order to cut off

this

toxic cycle and help

ex-offenders

walk into a new life. These programs should aim to assist

ex-offenders

in obtaining a job with a host. By stabilising

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

and a living place,

ex-offenders

are willing to avoid ruining their peaceful life and stay away from committing

crimes

To conclude

, I believe it is crucial to assist

ex-offenders

to walk on the bright path. Once they understand how to earn a living without harming others' interests, they can make a huge difference and

Verb problem

are

show examples

not involved in

crimes

Submitted by bettyshampt on Mon Aug 12 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure the introduction is concise and clearly outlines the points you will discuss in the essay.

relevant specific examples

Support your points with more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument.

logical structure

Improve coherence by ensuring that each paragraph connects smoothly to the next. Using transitional words and phrases can help.

complete response

The essay covers the main points of the task and attempts to explain the reasons for recidivism and propose measures to tackle the problem.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear structure to the essay.

clear comprehensive ideas

The ideas are generally clear and relevant to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
reintegration
rehabilitation programs
economic hardship
employment opportunities
social stigma
discrimination
psychological issues
mental health problems
substance abuse
negative peer influence
incarceration
offenders
ex-convicts
recidivist
penal system
preventative measures
re-offend
criminal justice system
reintegration strategies

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Example 6: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Write a letter to the director of your company to recommend a group in your local community which deserves help. In your letter, you should tell: why you suggest helping this group how your company can help this group what the beneﬁts your company will in return for.

You are looking for a full-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: • introduce yourself • explain what sort of job you would like • say what experience and skills you have Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir/Madam

Some think that printed books are not necessary in the digital era, because all writing can be stored electronically. Others think printed books still play an important role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?