IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teacher in the classroom.

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There have been immense advances in technology in most
aspect
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aspects
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 of people’s lives, especially in the field of education. Nowadays, an increasing number of
students
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 rely on computers for research and to produce a perfect paper for school purposes. Others have decided to leave the original way of learning and to get knowledge through online schools. These changes in the learning process have brought a special concern regarding the possible decrease
of
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in
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importance
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the importance
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 of
teachers
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 in the classroom. Some people believe the role of
teachers
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 started to fade because computers have been helping some
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studies
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students
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 to progress in their
studies
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 quicker compared to
studies
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 in an original classroom.
For example
Linking Words
, in the same classroom,
students
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 have different intellectual capacities,
thus
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 some would be tied to a slow advance in their
studies
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 because of
other’s
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others’
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 incapability of understanding. In
this
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 way, pupils could progress in their acquisition of knowledge at their own pace using computers
instead
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 of learning from
teachers
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.
However
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, the presence of
teacher
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the teacher
a teacher
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 is essential for
students
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 because
the
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apply
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human contact influences them in positive ways.
Firstly
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,
students
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 realize that they are not dealing with
machine
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a machine
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 but with a human being who deserves attention and respect. They
also
Linking Words
 learn the importance of studying in a group and respect for other
students
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, which helps them improve their social skills.
Morevover
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Moreover
,
teachers
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 are required in the learning process because they acknowledge some
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students
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student's
students'
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 deficiencies and help them to solve their problems by repeating the same explanation, giving extra exercise or even suggesting a private tutor.
Hence
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,
students
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 can have a better chance of avoiding
a
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apply
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failure in a subject. In conclusion, the role
for
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of
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teachers
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 in the learning process is still very important and it will continue to be
such
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 in the future because no machine can replace
the
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apply
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human interaction and its consequences.

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help in making your points more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence, ensure that each paragraph is well-connected to the next. Use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and vocabulary to avoid repetition and make your essay more engaging.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the arguments nicely.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively and presented balanced viewpoints on the role of teachers versus computers in education.
logical structure
The essay is logically structured with distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a different aspect of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized learning
  • adaptive learning
  • engagement
  • facilitator
  • educational content
  • empathy
  • socialization
  • human elements
  • motivation
  • accessibility
  • navigate
  • resources
  • emotional support
  • instructional technology
What to do next:
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