Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many love to explore and gain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience by spending some
time
in new places or trying food they never tried before. On the other side, some folks love to enjoy the routine they have from
day
to
day
.
These
Correct determiner usage
This
show examples
essay will discuss two
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
of view
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
two
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalization
introduce
Wrong verb form
was introduced
show examples
in
2000s
Change the article
the 2000s
show examples
, humankind
expose
Change the verb form
exposes
show examples
to new things outside their city or even country. Exchanging data getting easier today with the introduction of social media
such
as Instagram,
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
,
X
Correct word choice
and X
show examples
(formerly
twitter
Capitalize word
Twitter
show examples
).
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
social media often show
delighted
Replace the word
delightful
show examples
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
such
as food or
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
feel curious about it. To tackle
this
problem
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
by travel and feel the momentum by themselves. As an example in
2010
Add a comma
2010,
show examples
since Instagram
introduced
Add a missing verb
was introduced
show examples
, many foreigners come to Bali to visit the places that
posted
Add a missing verb
are posted
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Instagram,
such
as
rice
Correct article usage
the rice
show examples
terrace in Ubud or
temple
Correct article usage
the temple
show examples
in Bedugul.
Secondly
, moving places today
no
Add a missing verb
is no
show examples
longer as difficult as 100 years ago. Many
low cost
Add a hyphen
low-cost
show examples
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
show examples
such
as
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and flight
show examples
flight
Fix the agreement mistake
flights
show examples
available which make people easy to move either domestically or abroad. We can book the ticket within minutes for
really
Add an article
a really
the really
show examples
cheap price. The example Air Asia Indonesia often
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
free chair for
Indonesian
Fix the agreement mistake
Indonesians
show examples
who wants to visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
Japan
during
Change preposition
on
show examples
New
Year
Change noun form
Year's
show examples
Eve.
On the other hand
, some of us love to stay and enjoy the comfort of
day to
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
day
activity.
Reasoning
Correct article usage
The reasoning
show examples
behind
this
could be they have limited
time
to spend. Many factors can influence
this
such
time
Change preposition
as time
show examples
and money.
For some
Change preposition
Some
show examples
who
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
to support their family and work 9 to 5
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
may face
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficulties
since
Change preposition
because of
show examples
the necessity to continue working.
Could
Correct pronoun usage
There could
show examples
be
also
some
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
who still study at school,
they
Correct word choice
but they
show examples
don’t have flexible hours or excess money.
This
could be
also
for folks who
doesn’t
Change the verb form
don’t
show examples
have enough energy. Elderly either man or woman most of the
time
prefer to spend
time
doing their hobby like gardening rather than trying new
taste
Fix the agreement mistake
tastes
show examples
of gelato in Italy. It could be because they have travelled a lot when they were young so that they have given enough contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
travelling
Correct article usage
the travelling
show examples
industry. Their health problem could
also
one
Add a missing verb
be one
show examples
of the
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
that prevent them
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
do
Verb problem
going
show examples
more
Change preposition
on more
show examples
adventures. Either we choose to
trying
Change the verb
try
show examples
new things or stick to habits, nothing
better
Add a missing verb
is better
show examples
than the other. Sometimes,
due to
the
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
circumstance
Add a comma
circumstance,
show examples
we need to go to school or work that forbid us to
moving
Change the verb form
move
show examples
from place to place.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
when we have
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
it is good to use it as
Correct article usage
a refresing
show examples
refresing
Correct your spelling
refreshing
moment with our loved
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
Submitted by permata_188 on

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task response
Ensure that you introduce both perspectives clearly in your introduction and state your opinion more explicitly. This helps set up the rest of the essay better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. For example, 'These essay will discuss...' should be 'This essay will discuss...'.
coherence and cohesion
Try to make the structure a bit more refined by using clearer topic sentences for each paragraph. This will help improve the logical flow of your essay.
task response
The essay covered both perspectives, with good modern examples like social media influence and ease of travel.
coherence and cohesion
The essay's argumentation regarding why some people prefer not to try new things was well-explained and supported with logical reasoning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Novelty
  • Routine
  • Comfort zone
  • Risk-taker
  • Risk-averse
  • Enrichment
  • Personal growth
  • Innovation
  • Creativity
  • Stability
  • Tradition
  • Habit
  • Familiarity
  • Personal enrichment
  • Life stages
  • Fulfilling
What to do next:
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