IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You and your family have Just come back from a holiday staying in a rented apartment overlooking the sea. The apartment was very unsatisfactory. Write a letter of complaint to the manager of the agency from which you rented the apartment. In your letter, - give details of the things that were unsatisfactory - explain the reactions of the members of your family - ask the manager what he/she is going to do about the situation

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Dear Sir or
Modam
Correct your spelling
Madam
 I am writing in order to complain about
Use synonyms
apartment
Add an article
the apartment
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. My family
are hating
Wrong verb form
hates
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 that
apartment
Use synonyms
. Because
Use synonyms
apartment
Add an article
the apartment
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 is very noisy and dirty. It has not got comfort. I took
Use synonyms
apartment
Add an article
an apartment
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 for my family,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 it has
not
Correct your spelling
no
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 comfort. I ordered before I
going
Wrong verb form
went
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. The facilities written on the website are not available in real life.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 I saw air
condition
Wrong verb form
conditioning
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, free Internet and TV on
website
Correct article usage
the website
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. I had booked a
beach facing
Add a hyphen
beach-facing
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apartment
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 but it was not facing the beach. My family members were angry about
this
Linking Words
 situation. Again
weather
Correct article usage
the weather
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 was very Hot. My room and my parents were not air
condition
Wrong verb form
conditioned
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. My father shouted
me
Change preposition
to me
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. Because I booked
this
Linking Words
apartment
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. My little sister was two years old. She
cryed
Correct your spelling
cried
. My older brother
insulded
Correct your spelling
insulted
included
 me. My mother was short of breath because of the heat. Depending on the situation, give us our money back or give us another
apartment
Use synonyms
. If we booked for ten days, give us another four or five days. You can pay us to fly home. I look forward to hearing you! Yours faithfully, Zafar Shaynazarov

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task achievement
The letter contains the main points required for the task but lacks detailed explanations and elaboration on why the apartment was unsatisfactory.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph deals with a single main idea. For example, separate the complaint about cleanliness and noise from the reactions of family members.
task achievement
Be more specific and clear about what actions you want the manager to take. Consider suggesting a more polite and professional tone in your requests.
task achievement
You've successfully included all required elements: mentioning the unsatisfactory conditions, explaining the reactions of family members, and asking for a solution.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing phrases are correctly used.
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