Many people realize that people living in the 21st century generally have a better quality of lives than people born in earlier centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The world is more developing than
the
past, there are a lot of things that Change preposition
in the
people
can enjoy for living easily. I agree with this
opinion, today
I am going to explain Correct word choice
and today
that
why I think like that.
First of all,in Correct word choice
apply
Correct your spelling
modernisation
mordenlization
there are so many facilities Add a comma
mordenlization,
nearby
our life like hospitals, schools, Correct your spelling
near
markets
. We can Correct word choice
and markets
stopby
there whenever we want 24/7. Correct your spelling
stop by
Also
, people
can enjoy these facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
with
Change preposition
at
reasonable
price.
Correct article usage
a reasonable
In addition
, the technology developing makes morden
Correct your spelling
modern
people
can live better
life than the earlier centuries. The robots serve in Add an article
a better
resturants
, AI Correct your spelling
restaurants
give
professional information Change the verb form
gives
for
the students. These Change preposition
to
changing
Replace the word
changes
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
for
solving complex problems and Change preposition
apply
helping
reduce work stress.
Wrong verb form
help
Moreover
, people
who live in the 21st century are safer from desease
, food, Correct your spelling
disease
war
compared with before centuries. Some countries still suffer from the war, but Correct word choice
and war
the
other countries are protected by there Correct article usage
apply
the
Change the word
their
army
and Fix the agreement mistake
armies
the
Correct article usage
apply
government
. And Fix the agreement mistake
governments
then
, there are lots of laws for helping low-income group
, so they can live much Fix the agreement mistake
groups
easily
.
Correct quantifier usage
more easily
To sum up
, developing technology offers various helping
for Replace the word
help
people
's life
, and Fix the agreement mistake
lives
for
Change preposition
apply
this
changing
Replace the word
change
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
positive
influence Correct article usage
a positive
to
the world.Change preposition
on
Submitted by ekmds010822 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to expand on your ideas with more specific examples and detailed explanations. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point in the body paragraphs is well-supported with evidence or examples. Currently, some ideas are mentioned but not deeply explored.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs with one main idea per paragraph. This will improve the logical structure and readability of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Work on transitions between ideas and paragraphs to create a smoother flow in your essay. Use linking words and phrases more effectively.
overall accuracy
Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammar errors. Correct small mistakes like 'resturant' to 'restaurant' and 'morden' to 'modern'.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt effectively by stating your opinion clearly in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure.
task achievement
You have included multiple reasons to support your opinion, which shows a good effort to develop your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.