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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the number of medals won by the top ten countries in the London 2012 Olympic games. Summarise the information making comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the number of medals won by the top ten countries in the London 2012 Olympic games. Summarise the information making comparisons where relevant.
#medals #ten #countries #london #olympic #games #summarise #information #comparisons
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The table illustrates the amount of
medals
Use synonyms
took
Verb problem
won
show examples
 by the best ten nations in the London 2012 Olympic
games
Capitalize word
Games
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the table that
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 is in the first
place
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Australia
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
 despite of fact that their total
medals
Use synonyms
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
 than Hungary. In 2012, United States
sportsmens
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
win
Wrong verb form
won
show examples
 46
gold
Use synonyms
medals
Use synonyms
, 29 silver
medals
Use synonyms
 and 29 bronze.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is the maximum
number
Use synonyms
 of
gold
Use synonyms
 and silver
medals
Use synonyms
 among
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all countries and the peak
number
Use synonyms
 of bronze
medals
Use synonyms
 took Russia with 32
medals
Use synonyms
 in total 82 and
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 at fourth
place
Use synonyms
 in the
Olymic
Correct your spelling
Olympic
Olympics
. China and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 took second and third
place
Use synonyms
 with
overall
Linking Words
 88 and 65
medals
Use synonyms
, respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, South Korea with 28
medals
Use synonyms
 took
5st
Change the ending
5th
show examples
place
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Germany and France with
same
Change the article
a same
the same
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
gold
Use synonyms
medals
Use synonyms
 took 6th and 7th places, but Germany had 10
medals
Use synonyms
 more than France, so it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 one step higher than him. Following that, Italy
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
8st
Change the ending
8th
show examples
place
Use synonyms
 with 28
medals
Use synonyms
. Despite of fact that Hungary took
lower
Add an article
a lower
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
medals
Use synonyms
 with 17 in total, it took
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 valuable
place
Use synonyms
 than Australia with 35
medals
Use synonyms
 and it
is gives
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 us that
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
gold
Use synonyms
medals
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
very
Rephrase
more
show examples
 important than
total
Add an article
a total
the total
show examples
 of every
Use synonyms
medals
Change to a singular noun
medal
show examples
.
Submitted by Kawasaki on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words medals, place, gold, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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