IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many countries have the same shops and products. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #shops #products #consider #development
Nowadays, many
countries
 have the same shops and
products
, some
people
 say that
this
 is a negative.
However
, I strongly believe that
this
 is a positive development. On the one hand, the global brand
products
 presented in many
countries
 could affect local
products
,
such
 as specialities
products
 from traditional villages would not be able to compete with international brands.
For example
, the tropical fruit from Khanh Son town in Khanh Hoa province, nowadays cannot be
positioning
Change the form of the verb
positioned
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to
Change preposition
in
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 the local market because of the fruit import from Thai Lan or Malaysia. Another reason is the more international
products
 presented, the more risk of fading handy crafts productions which shows the diversity of our global cultures
On the other hand
, I believe that it is more beneficial for the economy when the trade is open for international roles, the buyer will receive more benefit from
this
 competition in terms of pricing, quality
as well as
 diversity of
products
.
As a result
,
people
 will no longer be concerned about the geographical location before purchasing overseas goods.
Furthermore
, by approaching international
products
,
people
 will elevate their standard of living to reduce the gap between high-income and low-income populations in different
countries
. In conclusion,
while
 some
people
 think that
products
 and shops are the same in many
countries
 is a negative.
However
, it seems to me that
this
 is a positive development if we can have shop and product presenting in many
countries
.
Submitted by luantrat on

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task achievement
To strengthen your task response, consider adding more specific and varied examples, as well as addressing the counterarguments in greater detail.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay by ensuring smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Using linking words and phrases can help create a more seamless flow.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and sets up the argument well.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion summarizes your points effectively and clearly restates your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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