There is an increasing amount of advertising directed at children, encouraging them to buy toys and snacks. Many parents are worried that these advertisements put too much pressure on children, while some advertisements claim that they provide useful information to children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
of
every Change preposition
for
products
including toys and snacks for teenagers are easily available everywhere, not only Change to a singular noun
product
in
Change preposition
on
the
TVs but Correct article usage
apply
also
in
Change preposition
on
the
gadgets. Some people believe these advertisements will be dangerous Correct article usage
apply
children
, Change preposition
to children
while
another group of thinkers support that there are bunch
of useful details for Add an article
a bunch
children
. Personally, I completely agree with the first statement, and in this
essay, I will discuss the supported arguments.
To begin
with, many sellers willing
to reach broader consumers by widespread their advertisements and Add a missing verb
are willing
encourage
young people with interesting storylines and attractive visuals of their brand. Wrong verb form
encouraging
However
, parents are worried that these advertisements would impact on the disruptive informations
on Change the wording
information
pieces of information
children
if it is not in
selective content. Change preposition
apply
For example
, the commercial
about cigarettes or sexual stock that Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
supposed
to be for adultsAdd a missing verb
are supposed
,
can be shown to those underage groups. Remove the comma
apply
As a result
, this
would influence the youngsters to try several prohibited products and leads
to misunderstanding about the usage of some stocks.
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
On the other hand
, the abundance of knowledge about things from the advertisement
might be beneficial to give them a deeper understanding about
something that they never knew before. Young generations will get Change preposition
of
inform
about new playing tools that can increase their creativity and help them Change the form of the verb
informed
fulfill
their curiosity Change the spelling
fulfil
if
it comes to comparing snacks that have better Correct word choice
when
nutritions
.
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
Thus
, to conclude
the discussion, while
advertisement
directed to Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
children
might give them several information
, it is Correct quantifier usage
pieces of information
essencial
to avoid Correct your spelling
essential
the
harmful information that Correct article usage
apply
not
suitable for their age. Add a missing verb
is not
Therefore
, older people should accompany them to make sure the content is fit to
them. Change preposition
for
This
is why I agree that advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
on
Change preposition
for
children
will put too much pressure on them.Submitted by as on
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task achievement
Enhance the clarity of main points in the body paragraphs to ensure that each argument is developed and expanded upon in detail.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas. This will help make your arguments more convincing and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use a clear and consistent structure throughout the essay. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the argument flows logically from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your work to correct grammatical mistakes and improve sentence structure. This will enhance readability and the overall quality of your writing.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the essay.
complete response
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and addresses both views as required by the prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.