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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Look at the two maps of a beach hotel at different times. make notes on the key changes

#two #maps #beach #hotel #times #notes #changes
The maps illustrate changes in a beach
hotel
 in 2003 and 2013. As it is observed, some significant alterations occurred during a 10-year period. Compared to its older version, the
hotel
 became more recreational over 10 years. As can be seen, the restaurant was relocated to the right side of the area, allocating its previous location to the swimming pool.
In addition
, the facilities of
this
hotel
 have improved noticeably. More seating spots were added to the 2013 version.
Besides
 that, a water sports site was
also
 constructed on the right side close to the beach. What is clearly evident is that the number of
hotel
 rooms has increased since 2003, making
this
hotel
 more spacious in terms of accommodation. All in all, the various changes in
this
 establishment show a great improvement in all aspects towards being more recreational and facilitated during these 10 years.
Submitted by basri.fateme on

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task response
You have addressed the task effectively and noted the key changes as required. For further improvement, include more specific details about the changes to demonstrate thorough analysis.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear structure. Ensure all points have equal weight and support to enhance cohesion.
introduction
The introduction succinctly outlines the timeframe and context of the maps, giving readers a clear perspective from the onset.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear wrap-up of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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