IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts compare how much the proportions of three fast-food outlets are favoured by teenagers in Vietnam and Indonesia in 2017 with projections for 2027.

The pie charts compare how much the proportions of three fast-food outlets are favoured by teenagers in Vietnam and Indonesia in 2017 with projections for 2027.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts show teenagers' favourite 3 fast-food outlets in
Vietnam
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 in the years 2017 and 2027.
It is clear that
Linking Words
McDonald
Use synonyms
's is the most popular outlet in both of the countries,
whereas
Linking Words
KFC
Use synonyms
 and
Burger
Use synonyms
 King are the least popular in
Vietnam
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 respectively. In 2007,
McDonald
Use synonyms
's was the most favourite firm in
Vietnam
Use synonyms
 with 43,1% and in
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 with 60,8%.
However
Linking Words
, predictions say that demand for
McDonald
Use synonyms
's is going to increase in 2027 by 14,3% in
Vietnam
Use synonyms
 and decrease by around the same amount in
Indonesia
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
McDonald
Use synonyms
's will overtake
Burger
Use synonyms
 King in
Vietnam
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 it will remain in first place in
this
Linking Words
 competition. The other two restaurants,
Burger
Use synonyms
 King and
KFC
Use synonyms
, are
also
Linking Words
 projected in
this
Linking Words
 pie chart.
KFC
Use synonyms
 saw a rise in
Vietnam
Use synonyms
 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 by 2.2% and 15.4% respectively,
whereas
Linking Words
Burger
Use synonyms
 King saw a decline of 13.8% and 3.1% respectively. As you can see, in 2027,
KFC
Use synonyms
 will be twice as much as demanded in 2017 in
Indonesia
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and steadily rose in
Vietnam
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words vietnam, indonesia, mcdonald, kfc, burger with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: