IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph show the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The line graph show the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of a hospital from 2010 to 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#line #show #patients #four #clinics #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart provides information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the percentage of weekly patients visiting clinics of a hospital from the
year
Use synonyms
 2010 to the
year
Use synonyms
 2016. Generally speaking, it can be seen that the rate of clients
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 in 2012.
Also
Linking Words
 ,the lowest number of
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
 was in
year
Use synonyms
 2014 .
Additionally
Linking Words
, in
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
2012
Add a comma
2012,
show examples
 it is clear
to say
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that patients number
has
Verb problem
of patients
show examples
 dropped . The proportion
diabetic
Change preposition
of diabetic
show examples
 people in
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2010 was almost the same rate and increased
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 following years until 2016.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Moreover
Linking Words
, we can see that dental clinics
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
 up in
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2014
then
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
rose
 in 2016 .
In addition
Linking Words
 ,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
beganing
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of
Use synonyms
Change the article
the year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2012 to 2014 we can see
decreasing
Change the form of the verb
decrease
show examples
 in the amount of
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
.
Submitted by manalalmoasharji on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average number
  • weekly patients
  • clinics
  • hospital
  • 2010-2016
  • line graph
  • summarize
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • relevant
  • significant changes
  • notable differences
  • similarities
  • yearly fluctuations
  • patterns
  • variations
  • general observation
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