IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount that people can earn.

#countries #people #salaries #country #government #control #limit #amount
It is being argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 some people earn
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
amount
 of
salaries
 which is good for a nation. Meanwhile, others, think that
government
 should restrict the
amount
 of
salaries
 people can earn.I think limiting the
salaries
 is not a good practice, there
sare severals
Correct your spelling
are several
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 alternatives which can counter
this
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
. To commence with earning high
wages
 can result
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the development of
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 nation
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many ways. as
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
 who earns
decent
Add an article
a decent
show examples
amount
 of
money
 would
also
 spend
money
 more which would
leads
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lead
show examples
 to
circulate
Change the verb form
circulating
show examples
 more
money
 in
economy
Add an article
the economy
an economy
show examples
.
In addition
, it
also
 generates higher incomes for the
government
 in
form
Correct article usage
the form
show examples
 of
tax
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
relatively
Change the word
relative
show examples
 to those who get less
money
 as
wages
.
For instance
, in Canada portion of
tax
based
Add a missing verb
is based
show examples
 on one's income,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
 if one
earn
Change the verb form
earns
show examples
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary
also
Correct your spelling
would
woud
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pay
Correct subject-verb agreement
pays
show examples
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high
amount
 of
tax
 On the other side, some
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 think
earning
Correct your spelling
earnings
show examples
 should be
cap
Wrong verb form
capped
show examples
 by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 because it may divide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
in
Change the preposition
into
show examples
 two parts.
Such
 as high
earners
 and low
earners
 which might bring inequality.
Moreover
, they think high
earners
 get favours
while
 buying things from banks in the form of loans as it
approved
Add a missing verb
is approved
show examples
 on the basis of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 incomes.
However
, if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 limit the
wages
 it would bring
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of motivation and less growth
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the business.As one would not find the. worth of the skills .It
also
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to more
migriation
Correct your spelling
migration
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 high payer's countries
To sum up
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
earning high
wages
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the development of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
 in many ways so restricting high
paid
Verb problem
apply
show examples
salaries
 is not
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 exercise.
However
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should introduce
suc
Correct your spelling
a
 scheme which would be favorable for
low
Correct your spelling
low-income
show examples
earners
such
 as less
tax
deduction
Fix the agreement mistake
deductions
show examples
,
help
Correct word choice
and help
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mortgages.
Submitted by amarbatth367 on

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task achievement
Your essay should include a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to encapsulate your overall point. This will guide your writing and ensure cohesion throughout.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. For example, separate the arguments for limiting salaries from the arguments against it.
task achievement
Refine your language use. There are noticeable grammatical errors that can detract from clarity, such as "there sare severals others alternatives" or "such as less tax deduction, help with the mortgages."
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to ensure smoother transitions between sentences and ideas. This will help in improving logical flow and overall readability.
task achievement
You've provided relevant examples, which demonstrate your ability to think critically about the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and help frame your discussion, showing a clear understanding of essay structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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