Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Working overtime is becoming a lifestyle for many
workers
Use synonyms
nowadays, causing them to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
limited or even no time to pursue their personal interests.
While
Linking Words
there are some benefits,
such
Linking Words
as the ability to gain an extra income and fasten one’s
career
Use synonyms
progression; the drawbacks, namely an increase in depression level and unhealthy lifestyle, are draconian. Some
workers
Use synonyms
find it beneficial for them to
work
Use synonyms
longer
hours
Use synonyms
than ever before. One of the main factors is related to finance. As we may be aware, some
people
Use synonyms
have been struggling to cope with the increased cost of their daily expenses, and
therefore
Linking Words
, working an extra hour seems to be a viable solution for them to earn more income in order to support their lives.
This
Linking Words
phenomenon can be seen in many developing countries in Asia, where the rate of working overtime is rising.
In addition
Linking Words
, some employees, especially in the lower-level rank, tend to sacrifice their leisure
hours
Use synonyms
to
work
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
in order to climb their
career
Use synonyms
prospects faster than usual. These
people
Use synonyms
wish by over-performing others, they will have more
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
to move
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
the next level in their
career
Use synonyms
path.
This
Linking Words
method has been proven to
work
Use synonyms
effectively in Japan, where staff, who usually stay longer in the office to
work
Use synonyms
will receive a higher performance rating during the appraisal period. Sacrificing our personal lives to
work
Use synonyms
longer
hours
Use synonyms
is not without its shortcomings,
however
Linking Words
. Some
people
Use synonyms
may neglect their lives without realizing what
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
important for them is to have a
work
Use synonyms
-life balance. Many employees are suffering from acute depression as they are either required by the company or it is their own decision to
work
Use synonyms
overtime. Recent research conducted by the University of Cambridge,
for example
Linking Words
, has revealed that 80% of young executives suffer from mental illness problems
due to
Linking Words
the heavy load and stress caused by
work
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
trend has led many
workers
Use synonyms
to live a sedentary lifestyle, which can be detrimental to their
overall
Linking Words
well-being. A prime example can be seen by the growing number of employees, who have to combat the overweight issue as they are getting busier with working than exercising. In conclusion, there are pros and cons to
people
Use synonyms
leaving their free time working over the required
hours
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
there are some benefits that can be obtained from
this
Linking Words
trend,
such
Linking Words
as gaining extra money and progressing faster in the
career
Use synonyms
, the drawbacks, which detriment one’s physical and mental health, far outweigh the advantages.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it should be avoided and prevented by all of the
workers
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rachitgupta472000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
To achieve better coherence, ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. For example, some sentences could be linked more seamlessly to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on some points for comprehensive ideas. For instance, the negative effects on mental health and physical well-being could be expanded with additional details or examples.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides good structure.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, such as the research from the University of Cambridge and examples from Japan and Asia.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: