Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.
Working overtime is becoming a lifestyle for many
workers
nowadays, causing them to have a
limited or even no time to pursue their personal interests. Correct article usage
apply
While
there are some benefits, such
as the ability to gain an extra income and fasten one’s career
progression; the drawbacks, namely an increase in depression level and unhealthy lifestyle, are draconian.
Some workers
find it beneficial for them to work
longer hours
than ever before. One of the main factors is related to finance. As we may be aware, some people
have been struggling to cope with the increased cost of their daily expenses, and therefore
, working an extra hour seems to be a viable solution for them to earn more income in order to support their lives. This
phenomenon can be seen in many developing countries in Asia, where the rate of working overtime is rising. In addition
, some employees, especially in the lower-level rank, tend to sacrifice their leisure hours
to work
instead
in order to climb their career
prospects faster than usual. These people
wish by over-performing others, they will have more chance
to move Fix the agreement mistake
chances
into
the next level in their Change preposition
to
career
path. This
method has been proven to work
effectively in Japan, where staff, who usually stay longer in the office to work
will receive a higher performance rating during the appraisal period.
Sacrificing our personal lives to work
longer hours
is not without its shortcomings, however
. Some people
may neglect their lives without realizing what more
important for them is to have a Add a missing verb
is more
work
-life balance. Many employees are suffering from acute depression as they are either required by the company or it is their own decision to work
overtime. Recent research conducted by the University of Cambridge, for example
, has revealed that 80% of young executives suffer from mental illness problems due to
the heavy load and stress caused by work
. Furthermore
, this
trend has led many workers
to live a sedentary lifestyle, which can be detrimental to their overall
well-being. A prime example can be seen by the growing number of employees, who have to combat the overweight issue as they are getting busier with working than exercising.
In conclusion, there are pros and cons to people
leaving their free time working over the required hours
. While
there are some benefits that can be obtained from this
trend, such
as gaining extra money and progressing faster in the career
, the drawbacks, which detriment one’s physical and mental health, far outweigh the advantages. Therefore
, it should be avoided and prevented by all of the workers
.Submitted by rachitgupta472000 on
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coherence and cohesion
To achieve better coherence, ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. For example, some sentences could be linked more seamlessly to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on some points for comprehensive ideas. For instance, the negative effects on mental health and physical well-being could be expanded with additional details or examples.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides good structure.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, such as the research from the University of Cambridge and examples from Japan and Asia.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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