The charts present the average percentage in typical meals of sodium, saturated fats, and added sugars, all of which may unhealthy if eaten too much.

#percentage #meals #sodium #fats #sugars

The pie charts illustrate the average percentages of different nutrients

such

as sodium, saturated fats and added

sugar

in simple everyday foods. The data

taken

Add a missing verb

was taken

show examples

from the

statistic

Fix the agreement mistake

statistics

show examples

in the USA.

Overall

, it can be seen that at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

dinner

the largest amount of nutrients

consumed

Add a missing verb

were consumed

show examples

. The first chart

represents

Verb problem

shows

show examples

that sodium

consumes

Wrong verb form

is consumed

show examples

more during

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

dinner

showing 43% and

snack

Fix the agreement mistake

snacks

show examples

, breakfast shows equally 14%.

In addition

through eating

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

lunch 29% of sodium is consumed. The second chart shows that

dinner

has more percentages of saturated fat

Change preposition

show examples

37%,

while

snack

Fix the agreement mistake

snacks

show examples

and lunch show almost similar results

Change preposition

show examples

21% and 26%, and breakfast contributes 16% of fat. The

last

chart illustrates the proportion of added

sugar

. At

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first

glance

Add a comma

glance,

show examples

it can be seen that snacks have lots of

sugar

Change preposition

show examples

42%,

when

Correct word choice

while

show examples

the typical

dinner

included

Wrong verb form

includes

show examples

29% of it,

while

lunch contains 19% and breakfast includes 16% added

sugar

Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on Tue Aug 13 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, dinner with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

151 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts present the average percentage in typical meals of sodium, saturated fats, and added sugars, all of which may unhealthy if eaten too much.

In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people arque that it is more Important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life, Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some consumers are increasingly choosing to buy goods that are produced in their local area, rather than imported goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or anegative trend?

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do yo agree with this statement ?

Science tells us that some activities are good for our health, while some others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people all over the world continue with unhealthy activities. Why do you think this is the case and what might be done to change this?