Nowadays people buy a lot of things even though they don’t really need them. Why is it happening, in your opinion? Is it a positive or negative trend for the individual and the society?
In the era where online shopping has advanced,
people
tend to purchase a lot of things
without considering the usefulness of those things
. Nowadays, technology makes it easier for us to get some things
that are not familiar. People
can easily purchase things
based on the
Change the word
their
appeareance
and online Correct your spelling
appearance
reference
that Fix the agreement mistake
references
looks
cute Correct subject-verb agreement
look
eventhough
the benefit of those Correct your spelling
even though
things
is questioned. I agree that to some extent, this
is a negative development both for individual
and the society itself.
The habit of buying some Correct article usage
the individual
wreckless
Correct your spelling
reckless
things
hhas
been normalized nowadays, it can be seen from how the internet normalized those Correct your spelling
has
things
and labelling that those activities is
for the sake of Change the verb form
are
fullfilling
their inner child. The Correct your spelling
fulfilling
terms
"Fix the agreement mistake
term
fullfilling
my inner child" Correct your spelling
fulfilling
rises
from the trend that there Correct your spelling
arises
are
some Change the verb form
is
kind
of Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
people
who cant
afford Correct your spelling
can't
things
such
as toys and electronic devices when they were
Wrong verb form
are
child
, Fix the agreement mistake
children
that is
why people
are not even hesitate
to spend their Change the verb form
do not even hesitate
money
for
useless Change preposition
on
things
. Furthermore
, the
economic inflation is one of the Correct article usage
apply
reason
why Change to a plural noun
reasons
people
can easily spend their money
to buy many things
without consideration, for example
, based on the economic reasearch
have been Correct your spelling
research
showed
that many Gen-Z can't afford to buy Change the verb form
showing
shown
Add an article
a home
home
by Fix the agreement mistake
homes
themeselves
because the price of houses and land doesn't make sense. Correct your spelling
themselves
This
research leads people
to spend money
without trying to think
save their Verb problem
apply
money
for the future. There is an anecdote that is
known in
the internet,"Who needs Change preposition
on
home
? Add an article
a home
if
we Capitalize word
If
cant
afford it, Correct your spelling
can't
i
better spend my Change the capitalization
I
money
on sushi". This
anecdote reflected that in some ways, these perspectives has
Change the verb form
have
negative
impact Add an article
a negative
in
society. Change preposition
on
People
are used to thinking deeply about their future because of the hopeless feeling in this
economy and it has impacts on increasing their impulsive buying habits. In conclusion, compulsive buying that is
normalized by people
who thinks
that they Correct subject-verb agreement
think
had
to Wrong verb form
have
fullfill
their personal satisfaction will be a disaster for Correct your spelling
fulfil
people
do
not have any savings Correct pronoun usage
who do
on
their bank Change preposition
in
account
. Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
This
habit will also
lead to Correct article usage
an increase
increase
significant rate of buying in society.Wrong verb form
increased
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central idea and use more varied linking phrases to connect your points smoothly.
task achievement
In the task achievement area, include more specific examples to support your claims. This will make your arguments more compelling and evident.
task achievement
Work on grammatical accuracy and lexical resource by revising sentence structures and word choices to avoid repetition and enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant points and addresses the topic effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and contribute to a well-rounded response.
task achievement
The use of an anecdote adds interesting personal flavor to the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite