Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together . To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
According to
some Linking Words
people
's statements, Use synonyms
music
plays an efficient role in gathering human beings Use synonyms
with
different Change preposition
of
cultures
and Use synonyms
ages
. I completely agree with Use synonyms
this
opinion because Linking Words
music
can be considered an international Use synonyms
language
and Use synonyms
also
It has a calming effect on individuals Linking Words
with
different Change preposition
of
ages
.
Each tune stems from one's heart, and it is likely a universal Use synonyms
language
understood by all human kinds. In that case, all of the Use synonyms
people
with different Use synonyms
cultures
would distinguish sad Use synonyms
Use synonyms
musics
from happy ones despite Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
of
their lyrics. As different Change preposition
apply
rythms
need various types of Correct your spelling
rhythms
instruments
, composers may incorporate musical Use synonyms
instruments
from different Use synonyms
cultures
. These Use synonyms
instruments
, originating from the human heart, showed that the cultural backgrounds of the Use synonyms
instruments
used in making a song Use synonyms
does
not matter. Take a world tour of a singer as an example where all the Change the verb form
do
people
from diverse Use synonyms
cultures
gather in a unique place Use synonyms
for listening
to some Change preposition
to listen
Use synonyms
musics
with Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
a
foreign Correct article usage
apply
language
lyrics. But audiences would perceive the joint Use synonyms
language
called notes of Use synonyms
music
.
The flow of Use synonyms
music
can grab Use synonyms
people
of all Use synonyms
ages
. Probably Use synonyms
majority
of human beings find Add an article
the majority
a majority
Use synonyms
musics
extremely peaceful as songs are one of the required facilities for doing meditation. The rest full Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
follow off
Verb problem
follow-up
music
can captivate the attention of Use synonyms
people
Of all Use synonyms
ages
, from infants to elderly individuals. Listening to Use synonyms
Use synonyms
musics
helps Fix the agreement mistake
music
people
of all Use synonyms
ages
release their stress and become calm. Use synonyms
For example
, looking at an infant become calm and silent from a mother's singing can demonstrate the peacefulness of Linking Words
music
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, the calming effects of Linking Words
music
,which Use synonyms
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
people
of all Use synonyms
ages
, and brings so many audiences Use synonyms
for listening
to Change preposition
to listen
music
are undeniable.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
music
is a good way Use synonyms
for bringing
individuals with differences in Change preposition
to bring
cultures
and Use synonyms
ages
because Use synonyms
music
is a joint Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
also
it affects humans Linking Words
with
varied Change preposition
of
ages
in a peaceful way, so I do agree with the mentioned statement.Use synonyms
Submitted by ghorabibita on
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task achievement
The ideas presented are clear but could be more comprehensive. Try to expand each point with more detailed explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
While the essay follows a logical structure, some sentences could be better linked. Use transition words to improve the flow.
task achievement
The examples provided are good, but they could be more specific and relevant to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Proofread and refine your language for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
The essay offers thoughtful ideas and perspectives on how music can unite people of different cultures and ages.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.